We humans are funny little beings.
We hold onto certain ideas as if we’re
dangling over a cliff.
And we won’t let go . . . as if we’ll fall
into a chasm.
Can you relate, my friend?
Just think of an area of your life you feel
stuck in.
Is it a relationship issue?
A financial one?
Something related to getting ahead?
Being more happy?
More balanced?
More successful?
More comfortable in your own skin?
What’s holding you back?
Doesn’t it all boil down to some simple
decision that you know you need to make
. . . ?
Some simple, “Yes, I can do this,” for
instance?
Or some simple, “No. I’ve had enough of
that?”
And by making that simple decision, you
actually create a defining moment in your
life?
Let me give you an example of what I mean.
An extraordinary moment in history:
When Jimmy Carter got lifelong blood
enemies Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and
Israeli Prime Minister Menachim Begin to
shake hands.
Remember that?
To declare their intention for peace?
To sign an agreement that they’d be good
neighbors?
Sheesh!
If you’ve ever been to the Carter Library in
Atlanta and seen the incredible back-and-
forth negotiations Carter had to make between
the two Middle Eastern leaders who he
practically had to lock up in Camp David
until they’d be good boys, you’d think he was
dealing with a couple of school kids!
Now, though of course we know it was much
more complicated than that, and that Anwar
Sadat would eventually be assassinated by one
of his own citizens for making that little
hand shake, what struck me in that
extraordinary televised moment all the way
back in 1978 that I’ve never forgotten, was
the following thought:
“You mean, that’s all it took?”
All these wars . . .
All this bloodshed . . .
All this human suffering . . .
All these two great men had to do all along
was to . . . shake hands?
It all could have been over just like that?
Isn’t that what it all came down to?
Them, and their countries, making a simple
decision?
Deciding upon a simple, “Yes, we can do
that.” And “No, we don’t need this war-thingy
any more?”
What about you, my friend?
What wars are you fighting?
What simple decision are you needing to make?
What do you need to let go of?
What will life be like when you do?
Would you be willing to let go of whatever
your reasons are for holding on to whatever
you’re holding on to?
Could you let go of them?
When?
Yours for the greatest wealth,
Michael
**** I’m not done with this theme yet.
It’s a biggy. And you probably want
to know what I mean by “How to Let
Go of your So.”
To explain that, in
the next week I will share with you a
very personal story about a small
personal war I was fighting up
until this weekend. How I was
holding onto something that you
probably can relate to holding onto
yourself. And how hilarious it
was once I (screaming and kicking)
let go.
Let Go of my So.
Meanwhile, go to the Comment Box
below and share your own story of
something you have in the past, or
need now to let go of.
Something that is as simple as
saying “Yes I can do this” and “No
I won’t take that anymore.”
Inspire me and thousands of other
Wealthy Souls with your brave step
today.
And while you’re at it, share what
you think I mean by “How to Let Go
of Your So.”
Wonderful article. I have many things I need to let “go” of in order to move forward. I know part of what is holding me back is the perceived comfort and safety staying in what I know, even if it is unpleasant.
This was a great article and really got me to thinking about all the “stuff” I’m hanging on to and can’t let go of and why? For what reason am I hanging on to this stuff…yes, that’s all it is…just stuff! It’s sucking the life right out of me and maybe this is what your “so” is too. Anyway, I hope you’ll have some inspiring message to motivate me to start clearing out the clutter in my life. I will be forever grateful!
{{{hugs}}},
Sandy
I have now for several years listen to the negitivity of my wife and it has been pointed at me for the last 13 years.
With my 9 year old son now getting the same negitivity pointed at him I finally gave up my so, that is my marriage. I have helped my wife with her engilsh, getting work, getting her citizenship, and bank account. Ya I remember when the banks would not let her have an account becouse she was a foregin National. Now she is a citizen with a good control of bank account with a good supervisor positon. Now it is time for me to let go. I have held onto family life with great sacrface. Everyone of her friends thing poorly of me and that I am no good. It is time for me to give up my so and start anew life with my son. I am letting go of that which I never had. A wonam walking beside me working together to have a better life for all of us.Good by wife,
Hello next woman fo my dreams.
Life begins anew!
I am a 46 year old woman who 8 yrs ago had a TBI. I know that many people don’t know what this means,it is a traumatic brain injury. I was driving on a sunny summer Sunday morning when a semi turned in front of me on the highway. I don’t remember hitting him but I was going 70 mph. The driver who was a young man who never saw me and just made his turn never realizing that he was changing a womans life! I don’t blame him because driving a vehicle like that is a big deal! Also he was a new driver and young!
I was taken to Marshfield hosptial in Wisconsin and was put in the emergency area! I was in a coma for 2 wks and when I woke I just couldn’t understand what I was doing there! Over some days I realized where I was but I was very confused and continued to be for a very long time. I know this is such along story, wish I could make it shorter!
My biggest problem has been me, my self image! I let everyone think I was just fine but I was dying inside! I was dizzy upon standing and had problems knowing what a fork and knife were. I was nervous in the shower just putting my head back to wash my hair,I felt so unsteady! But I did it and I handled it. I am so thankful that I am here but my life has been very difficult and will always be difficult! I am self conscious but others don’t know this because I was too proud to let others see my problems! I am almost the opposite of the boy who cried wolf,I wouldn’t let others see the real me but now that my mind is more rational I want others to know my problems and know that I want to relate to people. I feel though that I am too late. I am realizing now that I couldn’t and I can’t make others know what I went through or are going through right now. I just have to continue to be strong and realize that I have survived and I will continue to survive! I have friends and family who are here for me even though I have lost many friends maybe because they were somewhat frightened too! I want be in this world and continue to enjoy my 2 children and my extended family! I will live on and of course our lord will continue to help me as he or she? has helped in the last 8 yrs!
I have been holding on to my inner self conscious that was telling me I couldn’t make it even though I pretended that I could! I do know that I can make it and I will continue to survive! We all can let go of what is bothering us or holding us back,we need to believe in ourselves! Having friends and family to help us through it makes this life that much more worth it! Thanks for listening to me!
I have been very depressed since my husband died. Although it has been 12years, I am very lonely and the only way I can cure this, is to get out more and I have not been able to do this. My children took my car away and that makes it even more difficult. I have decided that I must walk more and I will try to do that.
This article had me thinking about things I hold on to as well. I think that often we hold onto those things because they are familiar and we are afraid of what will happen if we let them go. I have been divorced almost 8 years now. In the beginning I felt I didn’t want the divorce to happen, but looking back now I know that for myself it was the best thing that ever happened. I have learned so much more about myself and what I’m capable of. I still have much more to learn. I have found this statement to be true for me that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Sometimes the lessons are subtle and other times they are harder to get through. I think that possibly what the article is talking about letting go of our so, are our excuses or reasons for not letting go and if we look at the reasons in a different way it might help us to see that it is ok to let go. We all have the ability to make our lives whatever we want it to be. It takes effort and a desire for things to be different and better than what we are currently living with. We are all magnetic and what we think about and feel whether it is a good or bad thing we will attract more of it into our lives. So by changing the way we think we can change our lives. I look foward to learning more and not being so afraid to let go of the things I need to let go of.
Not working, house in foreclure and on disability. Fighting to live day by day. Good thing that I have a family that can keep me for throw in towel.
Great article Michael.
“Mining the moment for something that feels good, something to appreciate, something to savor, something to take in, that’s what your moments are about. They’re not about justifying your existence. It’s justified. You exist. It’s not about proving your worthiness. It’s done. You’re worthy. It’s not about achieving success. You never get it done. It’s about “How much can this moment deliver to me?” And some of you like them fast, some of you like them slow. No one’s taking score. You get to choose. The only measurement is between my desire and my allowing. And your emotions tell you everything about that.”
God Bless,
Fred
http://www.myinfinitereality.com
“let go of your so” is our habits, good and bad. Habits control our days; wake-up time, eat time, working time,family time,paybill time,relax time, go to bed time. One of the hardest experiences I had was to ask myself, “what do you like to do”?
I had to work at giving myself permission to think about me. I had forgotten what I liked; is it singing a song even tho I am no American Idol; coloring in a colorbook; shopping for a gift for me when I am more generous to others than myself? It was exciting once I allowed myself the task of offering something to myself! The problem is it is easy to forget the task and slip right back into my same same daily habits because so much is being demanded of me and I trust only me! How I wish I had two of me, one to get the tasks done and one to appreciate me and offer me a flower or a hug once in awhile. I am my own best friend but I’m really really hard on myself and that is the “so” that I need to let go of.
My “so” is my father’s voice… It’s my father telling me, all my life, “you are too fat”, “you’re not worth anything”, “why can’t you ever get A’s in school?”, “stop this”, “do that”… etc. My father shattered any self-esteem I may have had when I was born, and suppressed and destroyed any strength in me with his verbal abuse. At the age of 30, I was afraid of doing anything because of low self-esteem, and because of this voice in my head telling me I am not worth it.
My father died of cancer a few years ago, and I was there; I told him that I forgave him. And that released me from his slavery. I am now a doctor, and I pride myself in helping mothers and children. I am also a mother of 4 children, and I make sure I tell them every day how much I love them and how precious they are to me. I still struggle with my “so” every now and then, but I remember that I am a child of God too, and I am as loved as anyone else in the world. And that gives me wings.
I am a little bit of everyone who posted above, and that is what “So” is. It is a composite, I am a composite of who raised me, the husband that choose not to nurture me, the kids that are to busy to help,…..the….the…
So what is the big deal?
I am a composite of my community. I am influenced by weather that is not of my choosing, prices that are beyond my means………
So what is the big deal?
I have gotten old, so has everyone else…..
So what is the big deal?
I am heavy, so is over 70% of the population of the US…..
So what is the big deal?
I am disabled with a bad back, over half the US suffer from back injuries and pain…..
So what is the big deal?
I am broke, so is the community around me, and those who have money just owe more than I do….
So what is the big deal?
I am divorced, so is over half the country….
So what is the big deal?
SO………WHAT!
My character is defined by how I have handled the bad times not the good.
I have learned to love myself fat, the biggest trial of all has been to realize I am who God created me to be, he loves me, and hence I need to love myself.
I am not old, I am like a fine wine, just getting into my prime. A true antique, a valuable commodity, something to behold.
I am not dead, I am alive, so what if I walk slower, can’t bend to pick up a pencil or tie a shoe!
Financially, I have so much abundance I can share what I have, if I have two coats, i would rather give one away than hoard it, if I have food, I will share it rather than let it grow dusty.
I am prepared for the coming bad times, and would not trade my broke times, after all God has promised me that the poor shall become rich, and I believe him. It is the spirit of the knowledge knowing that God in fact did feed me when I was hungry, got the electricity back on, and if it doesn’t come back, that is really okay, because I know what to do.
Divorced, that does not mean I am a failure, it means I was wise enough to know when to fold, rather much like poker. I am not worse for my mistakes, but learned from them. And most important I will not make the same ones over again. There is all this space for new mistakes.
Humpty Dumpty had a fall, they tried to put him back. but the glue did not stick. Like an egg. It could just rot, but instead, I have peeled off the old egg shells and dusted off the dirt and made egg salad.
So what is the big deal? are we going to let a few bumps in the road ruin the journey?
Bless you for giving us this space to vent, respectfully pat
The enormous amount of energy we expend in not being our true selves, the masks we wear to appear as someone we are not, the words we speak that are not aligned with our souls – all these things we hide behind as though afraid to live and love fully.
To me the “So” are the voices inside that say “So I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough” etc. And it’s the “So” that minimizes us in our own minds. It’s the voice of “I can’t.”
Just a few minutes ago I saw a bumper stick that said, “Change the way you see, not the way you look.” It caught my attention but I didn’t realize that within 30 minutes I’d be writing about it. The bumper sticker reminded me that it is only a matter of changing our perspective in any situation to gain fresh insight that can fuel positive change in our lives and in the lives of our families and friends.
My own story is about leaving a marriage after 23 years. I was a stay-at-home mom with 2 children. I loved my home and family, but a change was needed. Without the details, what I personally confronted was a lack of self-esteem that others would never guess. I hid it sooo well. I had never had to support myself. I had been sooo financially secure and now there was sooo much uncertainty. I was alone and sooo scared and somehow also, sooo sure I was making the right choices. After about 5 years, I’m still finding my way. Now sooo much is unfolding – three new and exciting self-employed business opportunities have landed in my lap – simultaneaously- and I’m wanting to do them all.
In each day I tried to take one step forward. Of course, there were days when I fell back a step or two, and days when I physically don’t feel sooo well, but somehow, from somewhere, that little voice inside steadfastly nudged me and whispered in my ear, “So you can be on your own; So you can support yourself financially – and love what you’re doing. So you can experience confidence within, the same confidence those around you see in you. So you can share what you’ve learned with others perhaps making a small difference in their lives. So you can speak words aligned with your soul.
So… like the bumper sticker reminds us, when we change the way we see, we open doors, perhaps only a crack at first, but enough to let new light in. Then we can see Sooo much better and be Sooo much more.
wHAT A GREAT TREAT IT IS TO GET YOUR E MAILS. I AM 85 JUST LEARNING THE COMMPUTER AND LOVE ALL THE COMMPUTER FREINDS.MY GRANDCHILDREN ASK WHY ARE ALL YOUR STORIES SAD TO DAY I WILL TRY TO MAKE ALL MY STORIES HAPPY AND LOVING. KEEP UP YOUR GREAT WORK ELIZABETH
Letting go of your so—
It is humorous how we sweat the small stuff, fear of losing the stuff we have acquired, the opinions others have for us, the regrets that should be realized lessons, the children we have raised that have their own productive lives which was our goal to begin with, the failed relationships that we allow to bring our self esteem down, and the list goes on.
I have had Cancer and 4 surgeries to follow which caused more health problems. I survived it all mostly by myself, I am a survivor and have let that SO go.
I have let it all of them go. The latest so was my responsiblity to my parents. I left an excellent career to help take care of them which I do not regret. But Cancer took my father and practically bankrupted me. I have let that SO go as well because in doing so I come to realize my mother’s true personality and ability to manipulate people. In her greed and favoritism she has alienated four of the five children she had for one. I have let that SO go as well. We all choose. These things have brought me to a point of freedom.
SO freedom, freedom to do what is in my heart and my inspiration of where I want to be in MY life. The stuff can go, it is only stuff, I can forgive the husband that became an addict and an alcoholic and didnt want to change. I can forgive the second relationship where he could not be faithful because these things are their SO-S not mine. These life lessons gave me the freedom to let go of SO. SO I intend to live my life with passion and intention to do the things I have always wanted. I AM FREE TO BE THE PERSON I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN I WAS. Honest, caring, creative, humorous individual with great integrity. Those SO-s I will hang on to and away I go into life for me and I intend to be a help to those in need and hopefully an inspiration to those who are going through where I have been. We all have our SO-s and choices. Which do you want yours or theirs?
Great article, very inspirational.
What wars am I fighting?
Debt – credit card & student loan
Marriage – turned 40 and feeling trapped, bored and stuck in it for kids sake. This brings up many issues on many levels.
What decision do I have to make?
To not play the victim and to not give up trying
What do I need to let go of?
Fear, Self Doubt and Guilt, and the belief that he won’t cope emotionally without me
What will life be like when I do?
I will move forward and the universe will guide me through the process. I will be freer on many levels and have more energy therefore feeling lighter.
Would you be willing to let go of whatever your reasons are for holding on to whatever
you’re holding on to?
I’m sure gonna try but I feel its a process which takes a bit of time too.
I have no idea what ‘so’ is.
But that’s okay – I don’t have to know everything.
What are my wars?
Hating myself. Waiting for other people to find out who I REALLY am and hate me too. Never good enough. Just barely hanging on.
Jealousy. Bitterness. Anger.
People think I am so serene. Raising an autistic child has taught me a great deal about patience. Having it. Forgiving myself after I don’t have it.
Relationships. Wanting one. Feeling fat, old, ugly. Living in fantasy because I fear there will never be a great relationship for me. Using a lot of batteries!
Money. Feeling so broke, overdrawn again, and really scared. What if I can’t work this out? What if, no matter how much I work at it, study. release, reprogram, I NEVER make it financially? What then?
What if I always feel this crappy, everyone around me learns the lessons and moves on, but I just fail and fail some more? What if I am stuck in this and there is no way out for me? What if I let everybody down?
Am I willing to let go of this?
OH HELL YES!!!
Just show me how!
Gin.
I was remembering of all of the ways I have pursued life and answers and mostly where I get stuck,and when stuck I become paralyzed,so I write poems. This one particular poem sums it up for me. Titled “WANDERING”
I see a wandering path not knowing where it leads,enticing me to follow and off the road I go,beneath the sanctuary of the forest and beautiful trees that shelter me,from the heat of Mr Sun.
Temppt me more,until I know the roads that vanish and where they lead. I must pursue, I need to know where it leads. Deeper into forest it is so dark,I cannot see. Mr sun is hiding upset with me that I follow ways that vanish and leading where? I feel lost following this trails and yet I know not of trodden paths that lead nowhere,except away and far from Mr Sun.
Life appears to be full of all good paths leading to the prize. What is the prize? I must know! Should I go back?,tears of sadness fill my eyes,a strong need fills my heart,to find the smallest of joys life could afford,to satisfy my wanting,to kill the pain of not knowing. To embracelife as if there were no tomorrows. The day may be dark and dreary but I know the sun will shine bright despite how grey the day appears. No more goodbyes only happy hello’s and on and on I go. Even if it takes a lifetime and many challenges ahead.Pain experience has opened up appreciation of life and so on and on I go and if it is only at the end SO WHAT1
Great posts everyone – thank you for sharing. To me So.. is what we use as an “excuse” to be as we are, to hold onto to stuff, to justify blame and judgement. I suppose the equivalent to …this happened to me So I (am / can act) this way…
Letting go of the So means letting go of the excuse, the justification, the reason why. Taking personal responsibility for who we are and how we are, instead of what everyone else has made us. Scary, challenging and exciting – we create our own reality.
the articles posted on 2-=08 (2 of them, one at 4 something and the other at 5 something) were good and I felt them both.
I asked “U” about my feelings & my father killing my mother! For some unknown reason, cannot lose it?! This is what phone call was to be about?!
I love this article! The “war” I’m fighting is really the last one from a long list of them because of my biological father – he instilled in me that no one wanted to hear what I had to say, it wasn’t worth anything; no one wanted what I had to offer. This has been the hardest one to overcome – him being right is my “so”.
Because of what he said to me I’ve always been afraid to approach or deal with anyone I considered an ‘authority’ figure. Being an author and a business-owner this has kept me from being anything near successful. I avoid any kind of situation where I have to put myself ‘out there’, that way I won’t be rejected or scoffed at, laughed at, etc. I avoid this kind of situation SO he’s not proven right.
Well, this is a revelation! I guess my real fight is getting over whether or not he is right. I’m not really afraid of ‘authority’ figures or ‘selling’ my abilities – I’m really afraid he’ll be proven right. and WHO CARES! It’s been 37 years since I last saw him – I guess it’s time I simply prove him wrong! Thank you Michael, I never realized this until writing this post. Wow!
Love and Light,
Kate
So?
So What?
Sew buttons.
Sew Buttons?
Yep.
Sew Buttons on your underwear. That’s right. Sew, or is it sow?
To let go of the so, is to never look back. It is to take a leap of independence and faith so far from the mainstream that the very idea of it makes us frozen with fear.
Maybe it’s an abusive marriage.
Maybe it’s reaching for a new career.
Maybe it’s a change of religon.
Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one (or several).
For each one of us that “so” varies greatly, but ironically enough, it is identical. The love you take is equal to the love you make…
For ever reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction….
Call it what you will.
The SO, SEW, or SOW, is claiming what is rightfully our own, and in claiming it we also acknowledge that we willingly and knowingly pay the price for whatever it is we SOW.
I have been physically and mentally abused by my husband & mentally abused by his parents. He used to call me a prostitute…. because I used to make the first move where sexual advances were concerned. He used to tell me to go & stand on the street & I would find someone to satisfy me. I never was in so much of a want of sex as I was in want of closeness & intimacy. I never got any sexual satisfaction from him and for the want of it or rather to spite him I started sleeping around with men (yuck….i think now)…… I slept with my company’s MD, and then with a restaurant owner & then with a web friend, & then with an astrologer (who was supposedly very religious…ha ha), with a bus driver (that’s how low I went down to). I became a slut & didn’t realize whether I was happy doing it, whether I was being satisfied physically or whether I was so badly hurt by him…..the person whom I loved the most. I have 2 lovely children & moved to another city & begged him to move with us (as I wanted to get out of that atmosphere)….but he never left his parents home. After 5 years of living with my parents, today he wants to move back into our family & says that he is sorry & will not repeat his mistakes. I love him so much & v have spent some happy times together & I had never thought of a life without him. Inspite of being close to so many of my boyfriends, I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved him (19 years of marriage). He wants 1 more chance & the whole family is pressurizing me to go back…..& I want to. But I wont. I cant let my love hurt me anymore. The SO for me in this statement is SO WHAT IF I LOVE HIM. SO WHAT IF I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HIM. SO WHAT IF I NEED HIM. SO WHAT IF I AM AFRAID TO LIVE ALONE. SO WHAT IF I WANT TO LIVE WITH HIM AGAIN AS I LOVE HIM MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. SO WHAT IF HE ALSO LOVES ME SO MUCH. SO WHAT IF HIS WAYS TO EXPRESS ARE DIFFERENT. SO WHAT IF HE HAS NEVER SLEPT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IN HIS LIFE.
My hurt is bigger than my love. I want to ask you all …….. is it ok for a couple who love each other so much to go in for a divorce. SO WHAT IF THE KIDS ARE AT STAKE.
SO WHAT SHALL I DO? SO WHAT IF I AM CONFUSED.
I have been dating a much younger man for almost a year. Half the time he is wonderful, full of light, sweet, funny, and loving. Half the time he is very very mean and degrading, bossing me around and telling me he doesn’t care how I feel. It tears me up each time he goes into the mean persona. When he is sweet, I get sucked back in, and I love him so it is easy for him to reel me back in. I don’t think he can help it, but nevertheless, I have put up with this for long enough. It is very hard for me to let go of him, we have become best friends and I will miss him terribly. But I need to let him go and let myself once more be the person I respect and love. Thanks for listening.
I was 12. I wasn’t cool. I was fat. So I started to smoke. Now I could be with the big boys. High school came and now I could hang out on the corner. James Dean looked so cool with the cigarette hanging out of his mouth so I learned to do cool tricks with the cigarette and the smoke and the lighter. I fit in. Habits continue and 40 or so years later, mine had grown to two packs a day. I now had an inhaler for the asthma. I couldn’t run much any more and my four year old started sucking on sticks. So It was time. I woke up at 4 in the morning and wrote page after page of why I should quit. I convinced myself. I stopped and 4 years later I can walk up stairs without having to take a breather at the top. And my 8 yr old, doesn’t suck sticks.
Get ready so you can get rid of your so. Thanks for your time.
I need to let go of my fear of abandonment. It keeps me living in fear and trapped. I’m so afraid to be myself and ask for what I need, because I fear being rejected. Yeah – it all goes back to childhood trauma. Seems so simple, yet it’s not.
To let go of this fear would mean I accept who I am and what I need. That I believe who I am is enough and that what I need is important. I don’t value myself and therefore don’t believe anyone would want to be with me if they really knew me.
Thank you for giving me the forum to put this in writing.
The “So” in our lives stops us in our tracks, more certainly than if our feet were glued in cement. Limits us. Holds us back. Becomes our crutch.
Whether it stems from fear of the known or unknown, the So serves no good purpose as it gains a foothold in our psyche to slowly chisel away our true souls. It festers and boils and prevents us from being all we can be.
The So I face right now is a tragic loss of my brother. Not physically, but simply because I refused to borrow a large amount of money to give to him when he requested it. For that misdeed (in his eyes) he hasn’t spoken with me for nearly two years. The loss of having him in my life eats at me daily, and it is time to drive 3 hours to knock on his door and start a conversation.
Maybe fences can’t be mended, but I will never know until I try. So what if he rejects me? I will cry, I will drive home sad. But what if he has been waiting, too, for something to help mend the wound? Ahhhh! Then the So will be embraced, cherished, and welcomed with open arms.
Change your “So what’s” into “What if’s”. Chances are it will put a smile on your face.
TO ME THE HOW TO LET GO OF YOUR SO, IS SIMPLY LETTING GO OF ALL FALSE HOPES AND DESIRE AND ALLOWING GOD TO DIRECT YOU IN THE MIST BEING LEAD BY YOUR HEART OF TRUTH. ONCE LETTING GO OF YOUR OWN FALSE HOPES AND DESIRES YOUR OPENING YOUR HEART TO THE TRUTH, WHICH IN THE END WILL LEAD YOU DOWN THE RIGHT PATH OF REWARD AND GREATNESS OF WHAT YOUR PURPOSE IS HERE ON EARTH. IT IS NOT WHAT YOU GAIN OR COLLECT BUT WHAT YOU REFLECT TO OTHERS IN YOUR ACTIONS WHICH IS THE GIFT TO THE WORLD THAT IS WHAT SHOULD BE YOUR TRUE JOY. I MYSELF LIVED THROUGH THE DEATH OF MY SPOUSE AND A SECOND MARRIAGE WHICH TURNED INTO DIVORCE AS WELL AS A VERY CLOSE DEATH EXPERIENCE AT 28 BUT I CAN TRULY SAY THAT I LIVED THROUGH IT ALL AND GAINED A TRUE UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU CAN NOT HOLD ONTO ANYTHING IN LIFE BUT TO BE TRUE AND HONEST WITH YOURSELF AND REFLECT THAT TO PEOPLE AROUND YOU SO THEY CAN WALK IN THE TRUTH WHICH IS ALWAYS THE BEST PATH. IN CLOSING, YOU NEED TO ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE TO YOURSELF SO THEREFORE YOU CAN REMAIN FREE TO BE WHO GOD INTENDED YOU TO BE.
hi micheal i think u great ihave ur books and email , i have been stuck emotions keep info comeing
SO is the inevitable tie thinking that results from definitions. This and that and such and such, SO – this and that and such and such. I’m this and that (and it can only mean) SO I’m never going to get out of this same mode that I’ve always been in.
Take out the SO and then your free thoughts and your free self are allowed to come right in!
Peace!
For me personally, the “so” was about whether to keep a place (condo) I am now selling or move out. My financial situation has been tight. We are having an unplanned child, a second girl. I planned to own my place permanently, but learned in Nov 07 that maintenance fee would skyrocket. Looked into why and learned there were accounting irregularities and cash reserve was way low. Nobody would admit anything. My “so” until Jan 08 was “I need to live here — so I can own, so I don’t dive into uncertainty, so I don’t do something scary or over my head… Then spoke with wife after New Year and went down to buy newspaper. It was Saturday and we just visited first place we called, a home high in the valley. They offered to rent it to us — we looked at each other and took it just like that. I felt trauma and excitement as I was uncertain if I would sell my place, which I have to(!) At this moment, we are totally moved into new place, are LOVING it as my 2-year old can wear her mommy’s high heals and clop around without a neighbor below to hit her ceiling below us with a broom. As for selling, I have a buyer who is serious and just one step away from closing… We would gain enough equity to pay off all credit cards and our living expense (not including credit expense) would decrease by $250 per month, enabling us to pay for quality child care as we both work (before I did not know how we would manage it). NOW, I am persuading my wife that we will live totally on cash, not credit, when this is over. Compared to two months ago we are both feeling much calmer about our situation since making this decision.
I believe that the “so” is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not being all the things that you think you should be. Forgive all the people in your life that have hurt you. I think that once you let go of those hurts and resentments it opens up the channels so that goodness and prosperity can flow into your life. I am still working on this in my own life.
what’s your so? Isn’t it that thing that says ‘I had a bad day, so I might as well have a drink? ‘ Or ‘its too hard to change, I had a bad childhood, so i might as well carry on being the same as i was yesterday and the day before?’
At least, that is often my ‘so’.
i think it ought to be , you only live once, so you might as well make the most of it- but you wouldn’t want to let go of that would you?
Letting go of your so, so what? Let go of your so, just for a second and see what happens. A whole world of possibilities if there, if you recognize and deliberately create your existence. Letting go of your so, is saying so what, to your limited programmed mind, and going a step beyond, to your actual thoughts, the ones you create, not the ones that think you. I say so what to limitations due to my circumstances, I can rise above it all, I can and will be all I want to be, and see all I want to see. WIth my eyes that show me the physical moment, so my mind can relate to the broader perspective. So what, let go my so, I so let go, so so so, let go. So what, I am a millionaire(not yet, but I’m putting it out there) I taste it already, my finances running smoothly, and abundantly. I’m so grateful for my life, thats who I really am, I love my life. I say so what, thats my so, I so let go of my so. So let go now, right now. There is so much more, once you let go of your so’s, the So’s, that limit your humanity to petty bickering, darkness, and unfulfillment. So so what, and let go. Wow. that feels so much better. I let so let go of my frustration, and resentment, its not worth anything but itself. I want something worth more that anything, that is a clear head, and heart, full of love, compassion, gratitude, and abundance. My life is a masterpiece, says me, who is just a tiny part of of this enormous, vast world, but I play a role, I am in line with the universe, we are one, we go into the future suns, with courage, strength, and fearlessness. I am living the life I dream of. I choose this life, theres no decision, just a choice, and I choose happiness, abundance, prosperity, love, and ultimately a wealthy soul. Letting go of your so’s can be hard, but as long as you feed yourself good thoughts, with good food, and good vibrations, you and everyone else, can thrive on the possibilities created by the one, who has let go of their so’s and, has done, or is doing what I say, which is SO WHAT!
Let go of Me with love.
Letting go of my so. Whatever it may be it doesnt matter, let it go, so.
What a great article – thank you so much.
For me – letting go of my so…..was letting go of all the anger inside, and forgiving everyone and everything for my perception of the wrong they had done to me. At the same time forgiving myself for all the wrongs that I percieved I had done to others.
I read a wonderful book recently that stated that true forgiveness was when you realised that nothing had been done wrong in the first place – it was all simply a play of energy between one person and another.
What an incredible world we would live in if this were to be the norm.
So my story is how when once I took on board this idea, and sat and wrote a letter of forgiveness and forgiving, I experienced the most profound sense of peace possible. My life transformed – I looked at the world through new lenses, where everything was simply miraculous. Letting go of our so debilitating attitudes can make a world of difference.
I would like to hear more about letting go of your expectations for other people. How did you let go of who your mom was? How did you see this transformation? Please explain this process. I don’t think it’s only Alzheimers. My husband lives 152 miles away from me with our sons. I live here with our daughter because my husband has a drug habit that is not, for him, a problem. My sons now have the same problem and the same “it’s not a problem” attitude. My sons are amazing men to me, but I can’t watch this. I also don’t want to let go of their family (mom and dad together), but can’t watch this happen, so how do I let go of this or how do I let go of who I expect my husband to be so that I can see, again, the amazing man he has become? I mean, we’re all amazing in some way, right? And I still love him. So, Michael, please write about this.
I got this message about letting go of my “so” immediately after learning from Dr. Wayne Dyer to meditate to the sound of creation (AHHHH) every morning, and meditate to the sounds of gratitude (ohmmmmmmm) and peace (shalom) every evening. The single biggest revelation to me is learning to have the enthusiasm, inspiration, and goals – to live in peace, joy, service to others; but at the same time to allow myself to just go with the flow, and to be at peace continually and completely detached from the “results”, rather than try to “force, “push”, “guarantee”, or otherwise influence the universe’s path & timetable for manifestation. My “so” is learning to have the aspirations, goals, inspirations, ideas….and fully trusting in divine universal intelligence to determine the process for getting there. I have learned that I have always been and will always be, taking away the pressure to do everything “now”. I’ve learned that my “so” is also probably my ego, which is concerned with “how does it look” if I have debt or dress funny or say something unusual, or ANYTHING, and with gaining approval from others. Letting go of prioritizing the needs of the ego in order to fully enter the spirit world and manifest what completely feeds my soul is my ultimate “SO”. Thanks for your consideration – I would love a counseling session, and I love your “gift” videos!
Often I find myself remembering specific events from my childhood to the point that I can actually visualize them as they happened. One of these happened when I was a small boy of 7 and I’m now 56! I can you what happened, where I was standing at the time, the delemma that I faced and the outcome.
I have been told that when we hold onto these events it’s because we have unresolved issues with them.
We can’t move forward until we solve the “so” in our lives. We can’t change the past and the event/s we think about can not reach forward to hurt us again.
Yes, we can repeat history, for surely that is what the past is, just history. But once we can understand what these events represent we can move forward. Many times we continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, and I feel it’s because we haven’t resolved these incidents from the past.
Thanks,
Hello Dr. Mike,
Ah, the SO! I was married overo 30 years ago in a Synagogue in Ridgewood NJ. The marraige lasted 3 years and even as I was pregnant my then husband left. I raised my son by myself (not ALONE) and then when he went off to University I moved to Austin Tx (13 yrs now). My ex remarried (out of Faith) and continued to “call me” at least twice a year whether I needed it or not, lol! A funny thing happened this year. A few months after my Mothers’ death I sought out the Rabbi that had done my marraige all those years ago and asked for his help; you see my ex REFUSED to grant me a GET, a Jewish divorce. Something inside of me realized I could not move forward and attract the right partner until I was spiritually detached. A letter was written to my ex (who was in jail). He called me (from jail) to say he would NOT grant the GET. I heard myself saying, “You say you still love me, and if you do, please RELEASE ME”. There it is Dr. Mike! I was the one who was holding on to something dead and gone some 30 years before. I was the one who was HANDING HIM the tool to hurt me & haunt me and he knew it! I immediately contacted the Rabbi and informed him of the results. Because there were other circumstances, the Rabbi arranged a Jewish Annulment for me and thus, after 30 years I learned the most important lesson in my life; I released my SO!We are what we THINK we are and we are what we BELIVE we are.
I too grew up in NJ (Elizabeth) and smiled with recognition and fond memories as you described your Mother’s belongings. We can cherish those fond memories; they are part of our cosmic makeup, and we can release the phsyical bounty without dragging it around.
5 years ago I left for Australia to start a new life. By the way, I am a confessed pack rat of the first order 🙂 Out when the “things”, either sold or given away to give others pleasure. I found myself emptying out the curio cabinate with those cherished crepe paper, pipe cleaner flowers made by my little boy decades earlier. Out went the ROCK that lay at my feet when he got his drivers license. Out when the little clay dodads those little fingers made. Suddenly I realized that I had within me all those feelings, dreams, feelings and love. I did NOT need to transport these things half way across the world. My SO was no longer binding me to a past. In fact, I no longer NEEDED to drag my SO with me and once in Australia I realized I needed to return to the States, and did so 6 months later, which I would not have been able to do if I retained my SO!
Your story is such an important lesson for us all. Thank you for sharing it and charging us all to look within ourselves and grow.
I am a Professional Network Marketer. I teach people how to look in to themselves and grow before they can help others 🙂 Our strengths and goodness are inside of ourselves, IF we allow them to shine, AND we believe. This happens when we let go of THE SO!
RS Mallory
512.472.2604
Compassionate Marketing
I do so love getting your messages! I think I probably have alot of ‘so’s and wrestle often with trying to be positive in my thoughts, rather than negative.
Letting go has always been difficult. When my father passed away 11 years ago I found every excuse in the book to blame my mother for his unhappiness with their marriage. Little did I know my father was an alcoholic. At that time I knew nothing about addiction other than my father drank, my older brother did drugs, and my youngest sister drank. It wasn’t until I had to face addiction with my youngest son did I understand the heartache my mother was feeling. She did her best to keep all these problems a secret. I’m doing whatever it takes to educate anyone around me on addiction and the disease. I had to stop blaming my mother for the past and begin a new type of relationship for the future. While my son is in recovery now, she has shown support and love to him and me. Something her own addicted children cast aside. She sends him cards of encouragement and tells him how proud she is that he is healing. Because addiction affects the whole family it is amazing that she carried this burden by herself. Because we were not educated on the disease we couldn’t understand why they were making such bad choices. I have felt bad that I carried resentful feeling around for years. I had my dad up on a pedestal when in fact it should’ve been my mother. It’s funny how things happen in your life, the real eye openers. As my son continues on his road to recovery I have learned to accept the fact that addiction runs in our family, understand what traumatic stress he endured to signel the need to bury past hurt,
I had to stop making excuses for his bad behavior in the past and look forward to a strong healthy relationship with him in the future. And tell him as often as possible how very much he is loved.
So…..”letting go of your so” to me means letting go of excuses, look for the blessings in everything you do and what is thrown your way. There is always a lesson you just have to acknowledge it.
So…it’s like a question that we need to ask back to ourselves every time we come up with excuses for why we don’t make the necessary changes in our lives to be the people we want to be.
I’ve been engaged to my fiance for a year now. We haven’t set a date to get married because I’m afraid that once we tie the knot, he’ll change. When anyone brings up the subject, I want to run. I keep finding tons of excuses. I can’t tell our friends and family the real reason is that I don’t trust him. In my experience men don’t stick to their commitments. After 10 years of marriage, my father left my sister and I with our mother and we didn’t see him for three years. My first husband threw me out of my house when I disagreed with his newly found religion. I still have things in that house that belong to me that he won’t give back. Items from my childhood even. I’m “so” afraid to put myself out there. The fear is almost overwhelming. I know that I need to let go of my fear. I need to say to my fear…”So what now…do I let my fear push away my fiance? The next time that I come up with an excuse for not setting a date…I need to say to myself…So…you’re afraid. Deal with the fear and make a decision one way or another.
I’m going to ask myself the hard questions today. Do I love this man enough to commit to wedding date? Can I trust him with my heart?
I do so love getting your messages! I think I probably have alot of ‘so’s and wrestle often with trying to be positive in my thoughts, rather than negative. I really can see, with the benefit of hindsight, that I’ve so often focussed on what is WRONG rather than what is RIGHT! I now try to zap my mind into gear if I have negative feelings about whatever, and I do think already its working.
I do so love getting your messages! I think I probably have alot of ‘so’s and wrestle often with trying to be positive in my thoughts, rather than negative. I really can see, with the benefit of hindsight, that I’ve so often focussed on what is WRONG rather than what is RIGHT! I now try to zap my mind into gear if I have negative feelings about whatever, and I do think already its working.
Good Morning!
After reading todays post I was in tears. I posted a comment yesterday. I KNOW I have to let go but I admit I truly dont know how. Its so in my face and has been for so long but when I try to address any issues I just get panic attacks. I have tried for years from body work to dream journaling, meditation, hypnosis,psychologial therapy.. now I feel like I am losing ground and its making me beyond miserable. I need direction.
Let go of the So is a challange in it self because it means you are letting go of something that is been “tattooed” in your consciousness for many years; a conduct, an oppinion, a definition, a feeling of anything and everything…
Letting go is to embrace the change and so very often that is a scary thing. In my case I need to let go of the fear of loosing a job in which I am not happy so that I could venture into the unknown, with no financial support upfront, but with the opportunity to fullfil my soul porppuse. The ilussion of stability for the uncertainty of not knowing what is ahead. Deep down I know, but I do need to “let go of my So”
Two years ago I made the decision to close down my Interior Design Business and follow my passion – I started a non-profit foundation to work with teen agers in an urban area in New Jersey. However, my husband’s business hit some rough spots and now I am in a position where I am bringing in very little money and for the past few months he had been unable to bring in enough to cover the basic bills. I feel so weighed down – I’m working long hours, but the monetary reward is not there yet. I have sent out proposals for grants, that if successful, will allow me to contribute to the household. However, the question is, can we survive until then? I question if I should give up the dream and get a J O B that will at least bring in regular money. I have been reading and watching many things on prosperity – yet it seems to continue to elude me. While we have a nice house with nice furniture etc. I am not so attached to things as to have that get in the way. However, the prospect of losing everything and having to return to my parents house in the midwest is a real fear that I live with! My “So” is letting go of that fear and letting go of the feeling that I have not worked hard enough, that is why I’m not where I want to be! (In actual fact, if I did work harder I would probably have a heart attack!)I need to let go of the self doubt and truly believe in what I am doing – as it is for the greater good! I need to believe that the Universe will provide what is needed to give my program wings and make it fly.
Letting go of the so – – -is an ongoing process for me. I left an emotional abusive relationship, moved back to Arizona. He kept me dangling for another 12 months! I had always looked for the good in people. I always believed if you lived in a positive manner, others would eventually follow. I learned that isnt always true. As I have pulled myself from the bottom of the self esteem pit, trying to restart my life (after 50 it is much harder) but because i know no one, and was out of my job arena for over 7 years! I have started over from scratch. I left many treasures behind. I sorted, threw out things that associated that life. But I also wrote an amazing book, and daily grow into a more aligned being. Letting go is still difficult, those thoughts that attack daily, grow less as you give them no power. The self confidence grows as i daily tell myself “oh yes i can!” I keep the memories carefully sorted – but like them to visit less often also. I have let go of the negativity that surrounded tha whole time, and again trying often in baby steps to know that i can and will lead by positive example, and living a positive life. Blessings to all in their amazing stories.
Some of the other writers have already touched on this, SO … here’s my .02 worth:
“So?” is that soft, sometimes difficult to hear, little voice that helps me put things into perspective:
“My husband is negative and unsupportive.”
“So?” (Lots of women say this about their husbands. Does he feel the same way about me? What am I going to DO about it?)
“I don’t have enough money.”
“So?” (Lots of people say they don’t have enough money. What am I going to DO about it?)
Whenever I have a complaint or start feeling like a victim, “So” is there to remind me that there’s something I need to let go of…and something I need to start doing.
“So” helps me get off the victim couch…and become a person of positive action.
Every piece of emotional baggage
comes with a little “So”
to help me know
when it’s time for it to go.
And when it goes, the “So” goes with it.
And I am sooooooo happy when it does.
Yipee!!
Warmly and Positively Yours,
Sharon (Fearless Reader) Iezzi
http://www.fearless-reader.com
…or perhaps you may be referring to our expectations. I have done this SO…. I expect that in return.
I have worked hard all my life SO I deserve….
I have given up this SO I expect….
I had a client recently that ran into some cash flow difficulties. Rather than explain this and come to an arrangement over the substantial amount owed to my company – he chose to ‘take’ from my company instead.
This caused me initially to feel a great deal of resentment towards him. But after a while I realised for my own good primarily, that feeling this way could not in any way help the situation. So I sat down and wrote a letter – with no intention of sending it to him, but simply for my own benefit, to ‘gift him’ the money he owed. . I then sought an opportunity to assist him with additional support.
To say he was suprised is an understatement – I recieved an email from him saying how grateful he was for my support, and he would never ever forget it. Guess what – now his financial sitaution has improved his first port of call is my company, and I have benefitted tenfold from his business. It wasn’t necessary – simply ‘gifting’ made me feel so good, but I have now benefitted greatly having put out the hand of support when needed.
Good Morning,
I was very touched by your email about your Mom and her passing. It actually made me cry to think of the ways we keep expecting our parents to “be something” they never will be and the constant disappointment we hold on to. That disappointment that shadows every move we make and every attempt we try to overcome it. I know for myself it has kept me from stepping into my own power and making choices that could really thrust me forward in my own growth. When I think of what you mean by “letting go of my so”, to me that means letting go of the fears that bind me, the “what if” thinking that keeps me from actualizing my dreams. Letting go of the irrational voices in my head that say I am not deserving or worthy of happiness, love and laughter. It is about letting go of the self-sabotaging behaviors that keep me living the life God intended for me to have. I am currently in the process of creating my dream life and dream home if I can keep my fear and inner judgments from taking over. I have an opportunity to live on 10 acres of land in the woods and to live in a yurt and be one with nature. I am terribly excited about this chance and terribly frightened at the same time. So to coin a phrase by Susan Jeffers, PhD. I am going to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. The realtor is bringing the contract for me to sign today and as scared as I am, I am going to sign it and “make this dream happen.” I have wanted this for over 30 years now. Trust me, I am not getting any younger, so it is now or never! So Letting go of the So for me means, getting out of my own way, stop sabotaging my dreams, allow the Universe and God to bring to me all the things I want and let go of all the things (and trust me I am a packrat!) that no longer serve me. I pray that God help me let go of these things so I can make room for all the wonderful blessings that are in store for me once I let go!
Thank you for your wonderful story, it touched my heart deeply. I believe my mother is in the beginning stages of dementia and I could relate to your story.
Letting go of SORROW. But this sorrow is so evasive for me, especially because I am naturally a happy enthusiastic funny kind of a guy. So I would sit with a friend and have fun and then they would tell me they notice the sorrow. Or I would watch a moview and sorrow touches again. I know that this sorrow has to do with my past. In my night dreams I get to see maybe my new self…but sorrow seems to stand in between.
So every now and then while writing ,memories come up and I manage to release emotional baggage… but it has become a long process whereas I lack the energy to manifest a new way of creative joyful living. It’s like sorrow has been waiting for the right time for me to handle and I know it’s a blessing to release and cleanse myself, but there seem to be no way of knowing when enough is enough.
I used to have an older brother many years ago, and I remember being around my Mom, who was grieving the death of my brother for years, until one day she somehow got a sign that it was enough of being sorrowful and she ceased visiting cemetry so often.
So I try to be aware of my feelings, of my body, of my night dreams and express emotions that come up, waiting for the heavenly sign that it is enough of sorrow.
Dear Michael,
I am enjoying your books immensely. Thank you.
I think letting go of your “so” has all to do with finding your why and then becoming passionate about it and committed to it. I believe once that happens, the fear or unbelief or whatever it is that is holding you back will lose it’s power.
This is the struggle I am in right now. What is the reason I work, live, love and move in other’s lives. I mean the real reason, not the quick answer. What is my purpose today? What drives me today? When I can get up each morning empowered with the answers to these questions and focused on the tasks necessary to complete my daily mission, the “so” will no longer exist.
This is what letting go of my “so” means to me.
Thank you for your Gift, Michael! And congratulations for having the vision to share your Mother’s wonderful qualities with all of us! In reading your article, I came to the realization that my own mother has suffered emotionally and spiritually for a very long time. The by-product of her lifetime of misery was reflected in my tainted childhood and all the negative messages which at that time kept me safe. For a long time I was unaware of two concepts, 1) I am not my mother and 2) these negative tools/methods/beliefs no longer apply nor do they work for me any more. I had for the longest time said to anyone within earshot, “I am nothing like my mother!” And if any one dared to compare me to her, it would anger me! However, upon closer examination, I was headed in that very same direction, creating a life very much like hers. UGH! Now that I am aware of my own beliefs, and how those negative beliefs about myself and capabilities have shaped my life(not everyone else, nothing outside of me)- I am free to pursue new heights of success! Finally, Letting go of MY SO, is letting go of all the pain of the past-I am not a victim, I am not even a survivor – I quite simply AM! The idea of remaining a victim means I must continue to be victimized, who wants that? Not me! And a survivor, while implying a bit more strength, also implies there is still something painful to survive. That no longer applies to me. I choose to live a life of joy and abundance! Thanks so much for this article! You are a wonderful teacher and I am so grateful for every word you grace the page with!
Christina Hope
Hi Mike , The “SO” is anything that is holding you back from that which you desire, whatever that is. In order for anything to change you must first change, because the only thing that we can change is ourselves and how we think and react to things. The way that we do that is to believe in ourselves.
Hello,
Okay, so How do I let go of my so……………”Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is/are my gift/s? How can I make a difference?”………………..
and just BE, DO, and HAVE?
I’ve heard that the quality of ones questions determines the quality of ones life. Why is my life still so full of questions?
I read, listen, inquire, watch, spend, and practice. Yet I’m not in the flow. You know? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?
Your article has me interested in how you were able to be as you were with your mother. Was it partly possible because you were remote to her daily care?
Hi Michael
I think that the ‘So’ is really that thing, thought or obsession that really governs every thought and action of our existence. It is the one thing that would cause I shift in one’s life if you accept responsibility. It is the ‘life thought’ that governs our every waking moment. it determines our mood our gegree of success and evry breath we take. I don’t quite know what it is that ‘grabs’ and controls me. But the evidence in my life is clearly there. today I met a joung person in my job as consultant that spoke at length about letting go and thereby receiving the great wealth available to every living creature. It has made me think deeply. I need to let go of my ‘self’. The idea that I have to prove myself, the idea that my value lies external to who I am. That I am defined what people erroneously believe about me and my anxious response to it. It governs my life. It determines every breath that I take. I am not me. I desire constantly to be in someone else’s shoes. I think it has destroyed or at least caused me to be disfunctional all my life. More than anything this is the “So’ that I need to be free of. To let go and to be.
Deepest regards
Greg
Letting go is a necessary daily process to be alive, really alive and not living in your thoughts whatever they may be attached to. Behind your thoughts is the true you that can think and does, that can feel and does and can just be…alive in the moment. We are more than our thoughts, more than our emotions, more than our possessions of every kind. We are more than we think and we can live from that place and experience the freedom of abundant life.
The so is your ego that gets in the way of living by possessing you instead of you possessing it.
Yes, the SO.
I spent over fifteen years bemoaning what I did and daily thinking of the “what if”. This “what if” stiffled my growth, my expansion and my willingness to seek out new work, friends and help the family to have a dedicated husband and father.
Having learned to let go a few years ago allowed me a complete change. A change that brought my wife and me to Arizona. We are experiencing new friends, enjoy our children, who have now their own family, and we actually recognize that we have become different people. Differeent in the way of being open, being optimistic and always seeking new ways of enjoying our lives.
I know today that it was me who held back. Who couln’t let go of the past and always comparing the “what if”.
“So” is a modifier. A label. A way.
Letting go of the so… letting go of the comfort zone, just in order to move on, live in the now and be open for the future
I think the “so” is the expectation of what’s next. Seems we are never satisfied when we get to where we thought we wanted to be. We always think there must be something better and then we begin to make our way there only to arrive again at “so” what now?
To me, letting go of our “so” means to truly live in the moment of each and every day without worrying or wondering about…..”so” what’s next?
There’s a saying “Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Was it worth it?
So?
So-called …. possesions etc.
Everything is just a state of mind. Here two little poems from Holland.
Dance
Nothing certain at
the dancefloor of life,
and perhaps the only difference
for people with epilepsy is that
we learn to dance on every moment
that is given us to be seizure-free.
So I dance and feel the blues
even in this low, cold country
whenever love is present,
whenever someone dances with me,
with words or with images
or just with each other
in heart, soul or mind.
So I cherish
every step this dancefloor of life
is kind enough to give me
to share me and you,
and to become a WE
in whatever country that may be.
Sunevening
Nothing necessary,
not even a cup of coffee,
or the bird that trips on the table,
not the neighbours
that may stay away,
not the wind that will rise
even before the stars will shine,
nothing but paper and a pen
in a writing hand
on this sunsummer evening
without inner or
outer disturbance
in the Netherlands.
Its like throwing out the baby with the bath water…..what will the neighbors think? My “so” is when the grown grown children call and have a “major” situation and I frantically try to solve it immediately. However, once I said “so?” and let it go….the world did not stop nor did my friends all leave me nor did my children stop loving me. But I felt like I had been released from a confinement. I can’t run the universe…although I have been trying for 83 years. Now…I am me and that is a fine thing.
Michael,
First I would like to say your book “Nine Insights of the Wealthy Soul” has been one of the most inspiring books I have ever read. You seem to write just to me. I think “letting go of your So” is actually letting go of those thoughts, deeds, actions that keep you from reaching into your soul. We tend to think so much outside of ourselves and don’t reach in to find out what the soul is here to learn. In the end isn’t our body just a place for the soul to occupy while it is here on earth trying to accomplish it’s purpose? Finding that purpose should be everyones main goal. Can you imagine the peace on earth if everyone worked on finding their soul’s purpose?
Thank you for being you.
Shirley
So wonderful to have such healing input from Doctor Mike – thank you so much. So helpful to read everyones comments and to remember that we are all going through our own battles.
I have very little time right now to share mine, but at the end of the day, I don’t really think the details matter too much. You see I think the ‘SO’ is the Soul’s Obstruction – whatever we choose or allow it to be within our own set of circumstances – its the thing or things we blame for not allowing ourselves to grow into Wealthy Souls as we all can be – if we would just let go. Part of mine is definitely Stubborn Obstinacy!
Bye for now. And please whoever you are, wherever you are right now, just take a moment, this moment, as you finish reading my post, sit back for a minute and smile and know you are OK.
I am so glad that your experience is not what I have been going through in the last six yrs. My husband not only has dementia, but also tramautic stress disorder from Korea. To top it off he has always had a violent personality. I would like to let go of being his caregiver and take care of myself as I have many health concerns of my own.
I have always taken care of others but I have taken physical and mental abuse for the last 6 yrs that I would never have taken from anyone else. Somewhere along the way I lost me, numbed out and just existing by putting one foot in front of the other.
Hi Michael,
I would like to share with you and anyone else who is reading my words of what got me ready to let go of my so…..
Being able to look past the illusions of what was created by the projections of my ego to see what really was happening behind the scenes is something that my son has gifted me with. I love him with all my heart and soul but I still somehow projected on to him my sick ego thought system that would say “You are going to turn out just like him. Just like your father. Can’t you see what your doing.” But it was me that was creating this illusion because of fear of what the past was and so the past was being projected into the present and evenutally would manifest in the future. What I was resisting and what I did not want to happen was exactly what was happening. How was my son going to show up any differently if that was where my energy was given. Anyway here is what I wrote:
Today my teaching is how not to project from my eog’s sick thought system and how only to extend from who I Truly am. Which is always Love, Light, Truth and Peace. Nothing that is in my world exists without these energies and so when I extend Love, Love is what is given. When I extend Light, Light is what is given. When I extend Truth, Truth is what is given. When I extend Peace, Peace is what is given. The projection of what my ego would like me to believe fades away. It is not real. It is but an illusion that locked me in the addiction of my pain and suffering. Today I choose to extend and so I am Free. I come from the only mind that Truly exists. The mind of the Divinity of who I always am.
Letting go of So
Almost two years ago I made the conscious decision that myself, my wife, and my children had all become horribly complacent with life. None of us were capable of dealing with the least bit of change. We were horribly comfortable with old habits, good and bad.
We were in an environment that continually held on to things instead of letting them go and be free.
I made the decision to seek opportunities elsewhere and left the province. It was hard, leaving behind a wife of 20 years and three teenage children. But the consequences of not doing something were far greater.
We all know that life is constant change. In fact change is the one constant.
I had to let go of “so” in order to grow.
I am happy to report that 2 of the 3 children have joined me in my new locale. Yes change is difficult but the more you embrace it the more you will grow. We have a milk commercial up here that says it perfectly “Always grow, Grow all ways.”
Keep up the great work!!!!
I really enjoyed reading about your “so.” I have been struggling with a 7 year old marriage. I got married at 40 for the first time. At the time my husband had a previous marriage of 30 years. He is 13 years older than me. For various reasons but alcohol being the biggest coupled with lots of work and not enough sleep, led him to abuse me verbally on a daily basis. I have since met a wonderful man but he refuses to have anything to do with me until I get divorced and get independent. I am currently in college and have two classes to go before I graduate. Then I can prepare to save money and get divorced. It has just been so hellish to get through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, I mean I can’t be the only one out there who hates these fricking holidays and can’t wait to get them over with. Then there is is the winter itself. We haven’t seen the Sun in Harrisburg PA in about one month!!!! So, that’s my so and I’m letting it all go!!!
Letting go of the so……
I couldn’t leave an abusive relationship because, xxx, so you see, I’m stuck. (I was, anyway – but I’ve overcome this particular challenge). I can’t quite smoking yet because………, so you see, I would if I could……. I can’t let go of _________________, because of XY&Z. So……. It appears the “SO” is the justification of our ‘addictions’, whether it be a habit, an expectation, our THOUGHTS that are attached to whatever feelings that make it/things mean more than it really is. And I guess that’s all I have to say about that. Thanks, Michael, for once again stimulating the mind, heart and soul.
I believe that how to let go of “so” is a process best started by honest evaluation of ones self. This requires a fundamental strength and willingness to let go of our egos. This means accepting responsibility for who and what we are while finding the courage to transcend to our innermost person.
So, the letting go may become a process of identifying and changing a series of so’s. Through this evolution, we must re-chart our paths back to our beginnings. Here we discover how those early blue prints have determind the course of our lives. Letting go of so is changing our blueprint! If we persevere and uncover the mental layers that we have created out of our innate response to trauma, we will discover our true purpose.
Part of this process may include the challenge of overcoming deep pain, unrelenting nuerosis, and anguishing mental stigmas. We must understand that we compartmentalize ourselves in our minds in order to cope. Letting go of so, is the healing process of integrating mind, body and spirit. Letting go of material things can be symbolic of letting go of mental conditions.
I’m grateful for the ability to let go, for the healing process, and for divine purpose.
Robin Millard
What I think of when you say letting go of your so …. is releasing my “so what”. My “so what” is the story I make up about what is so (current reality).
Years ago, I moved from one city to another city. Because I wanted to start over, I purchased all new furniture for my move to a townhome.
I put all my old furniture in storage b e c a u s e … I also knew it had monetary value. I rationalized that the market would turn around, I could sell it later and make some money. It was all a story that I invented about the future. The reality now was that there were no buyers – at least for what I “thought” it was worth.
Two years and lots of storage fees later, I had one of those “I could have had a V8” moments. I simply questioned my assumptions, my beliefs, my story. The reality was that my story was costing me REAL money.
My so’s are often expensive attachments. Yet, in many ways, so’s are also a significant investment in discernment.
What came home for me was a something I read years ago. It was something like … “What you don’t fully acknowledge, won’t let go of you.”
I discovered that it wasn’t the furniture that was valuable, it was something more internal and eternal. It was the memories, the real living experiences I had with that furniture that I hadn’t yet acknowledged as an intrinsic part of the person I had become.
How to let go of my ‘something’ whatever it is. I need to let go of my husband…he left after 23 years and three children together. I felt that I had no reason to live…that sounds so awful with three beautiful people that I am responsible for, but that’s how I felt. I went into a deep depression that I am struggling to get out of. Some days I am better but I still sink (a year on) into very dark days. I would love him to come back but he is now with someone else (possibly from before he left). I need to let go, but how? I desperately need help
I think one of the tougher decisions about letting go of one experience is once the item is released what is the next item to embrace. Many of us view our history in terms of the obstacles rather than the victories that have been achieved along the way and the greater possiblilities yet to come. This ties to our fear of the unknown. A fear that we do not want others to know about and view as a unique expereience when in effect the fear is the common bond of the everyman that links us all.
You have a great point in making the So such a general item because there is not a common item that we are clinging to rather the item differs from one human to the next. As long as we continue to hold onto that item of yesteryear, we are blinded from embracing the future. The So, whatever the object is, for it differs from one human to the next, must be freed if we are to truly embrace the possibilities for a greater tomorrow.
Two weeks ago, my father had a massive stroke while walking to the Washington Capitals Game with my brother. It destroyed his left brain and as such made him paralyzed, unable to talk and unable to breathe/eat/swallow normally. Three days ago, we were able to bring him home to his house for his last final resting place before his next journey.
I let him go three days ago and in that process was given the greatest gift imaginable. You see, the details of my conversation with him allowed me to understand the true nature of our journey on this earth. I have coined the phrase “emotionally copasetic” to describe the state that I try to arrive in my life.
After my conversation with my Pops I realized that love and life are the only answer out there and once you truly realize, to the core of your soul, this answer to lifes question you immediately become emotionally copasetic.
As a person I am loved and have been given the amazing gifts of a father, wife and children and, in the end, that is all that matters.
By letting go of my father and silently listening to a powerful man die in grace I learned how to live…which in the end is the most incredible gift any of us could recieve. I truly pray that any one who reads this is able, in this lifetime, to be open to recieve such a life/soul changing gift….
Thanks for allowing me to post…..
Bart
Letting go of your ‘So ‘ means to me asking yourself the question ‘So, what am I going to do here’? and then making the decision to let go of whatever it is that is. causing you to – a) ask the question and b) have difficulty in letting go of something that you know is holdingyou back. Love your wisdom and writings Michael, thank you.
Vivien
When I asked inside what the “So” meant for me, what, surprisingly, came up was the word “sorrow”. I guess I am still carrying sorrow deep inside. I WANT TO LET GO OF ALL THE SORROW THAT MAY STILL BE LEFT!
14 years ago, I was in a marriage that was in ICU and in critical condition, and was 75 lbs over weight. I had taken a leave-of-absence from my job as well, because I was in the throws a full blown mental and emotional break-down, and not able to deal with the dramatic reduction I was experiencing due to change at my job. I was blaming my job, but in reality, it was me. I had failed to take the proper action…namely, get a divorce, find another job and let go of my dream for a family that would last forever.
Instead, I made a horrid, painful decision that would change my life and the lives of every loved one I was ever associated with forever. Without going into the specifics, I made the worse mistake anyone can make, and if I were to write a book, the title would be “When ‘I’m So Sorry’ Isn’t Enough”. It wasn’t then, and it isn’t now…I’m so sorry is just not enough.
You see, the person I am now, and the person I was prior to this horrific series of events, is and was 180 degrees different from who my core being is about. To this day, I can’t seem to really forgive myself, and let go of how many people I hurt, whose pain still lingers, including mine. So many people…so much pain…so much hurt and so much anger still lingers in those whose lives my actions effected.
Forgiveness, love, giving, spirituality, and a heart-felt belief in those I love is what I am about now, but, and this is my so, I hurt so many, so deeply so completely, how can I really let go of this? How can someone forgive themselves when “I’m so sorry is not enough?”
So, I think what you did to handle your “so” was to give it all away. You let it all go, yes?
Thanks for asking about my “So?”
I was curious, so I looked it ‘so’ up on dictionary.com and there are so many ways to say it just so. So what? What’s so special? It IS a big deal. Or is it….not really. Just live with it and move on. If you can’t, then change something, anything to make the next moment change. Life can go many directions and we have the power to direct. After all, we all live with the consequenses of our decisions.
I’m wondering if the letting go of so relates to the question “So why am I hanging on to this stuff?” If you let go of having to know why you are hanging on and just start letting it go, you may get the insights or answers or maybe not. But it will get you unstuck which is the main thing, isn’t it?
The word is “Soul”
Yes, I agree that the operative word could be “Soul”, as in liberating the Soul by letting go of THINGS. I, too, have accumulated too many THINGS. I am so overwhelmed I don’t really know where to begin. My Mom was a world-class packrat, and when she died, I strangely had no problem going through everything she had accumulated and tossing most of it. But–I don’t seem to be able to do the same for myself. So…my SOUL is imprisoned by my ‘attachment’ to THINGS. How I wish someone would come in and just help me lay waste to the sheer voume of it all…Thank you so much for letting me know what I AM NOT ALONE!
I have to let go of my SO…
I cannot go swimming in the ocean, i am SO fat. I cannot invite my friends over, my house is SO dusty, I cannot buy that dress I love, it is SO expensive, I cannot apply for another job, I am SO scared, I cannot let go of those old items, they are SO sentimental.
I want to be free. I want to be free of the negative voices in my head that suck the joy out of my life. The voices that tell me that something terrible is going to happen to one of my children. The voices that make me think that people are judging me, that I am not good enough or clever enough or thin enough. I want to be free of the anxiety that closes up my throat and makes me struggle to breathe. I want to let go of all that is holding me back. The fear that is unfounded. The voices that are untruthful. The pretenses that are unneeded. I want to let go of my own negative thoughts and emotions. And of all the siily things that I hold on to that gives me a sense of security.
I want to live with the wonder of a child. I want to trust the Universe as a friendly place. I want to be my own best friend. I want to have enpathy and compassion for others. I want to make people feel good about themselves. I want to feel good about myself. I want to be filled with a sense of wonder and have gratitude in my heart for all the wonderful things in my life.
I want to let go of all that does not serve me any more. The clothing that are filling up my cubboards in sizes far too small. The clutter that only collects dust and steals my space from me. Some people in my life that are mean to me and not trustworthy. (Doing that will free up time to spend with people whose company I enjoy and who mean me no harm.) Most of all I want to let go of my own fears and anxiety, my own judgements, my own negative thoughts and feelings.
I want to let go of that part of me that does not serve me anymore.
I have been fighting cancer since I was 27 I am now in my 50s.I have had a hysterechtomy,breast cancer reconstructions chemo and radiotherapy,through the last 7 years I have I thought a very good friend that had been through cancer himself which is quite life threatening in itself.We tried to help each other through a lot of thisgoing for lots of walks and getting healings from different friends of mine. I also had another friend for 30 years that had an addiction to alcaholthat heiped me through the beast cancer as well but I was still trying to help him as well,recently I was gifted with a heart transplant through cardiomyopathy having been in and out of hospital for almost a year and knowing I only had about 48 hours to live.As you can understand it was quite a lot to go through with having a couple of mini strokes,2 grand mal siezures and suspected menengitis with massive headaches, I am spiritually based and this is what got me through all this as well as a loving family of my mother and brothers who all took turns in going over to another state to look after me as you have to be away from home for 3 months.When I came back my friend s cancer had come back after one operation while I was away so we walked a lot to try and get him fit ready for his next operation, this ended up with me having a broken ankle mind you I had to keep fit as well, but when you have a lot of time on your hands you start to reasses a lot of things in the past and I realised how this person had hurt me in the past I let it go thinking that I would get him through this but a couple of months after I came back he said to me that I did not deserve a new heart, I was shocked but let it go because I knew he was in a lot of pain and under huge stress but 1 year later I had to ask him why he said it to me he went balistic and told me the fiendship was over, normally I would have been distought over this but having thre fractures in my back over that year with a few other things thrown in I was not handling things well myself so I decided that the only way to get myself better was to let both of those relationships go and look after myself for a change. Everybody is responsible for themselves you can help and give them support and vice a versa but I realised it was jealousy that I had been given a second chance and he was still fighting his so I thought a good friend would not think that way as well asthe alcaholic. Since I have made that decision I fel like a huge weight has been lifted of my shoulders I still ask for love and healing to be sent to him with no anamosity at all, everything happens for a reason . I am hoping for a better year .sussette
Michael, your story about your Mom was beautifully poignant. I had a similiar experience with my Mom that led to a glorious mission…more on that later. To let go of your so, means to me to let go of your shoulds, your story, your thoughts,your attachment to the outcome of circumstances or situations; to let go of your EGO. To stay present in the moment of NOW. It is our thoughts that lesd us to our feelings that in turn lead us to our emotions. Without a thought of something having to be either good or bad, there is no story…it just is what it is. It is such a freedom to be neutral in opinion. Byron Katie calls it “the don’t know mind.” Bill Harris says, “learn to let what ever happens be OK. Hale Dwoskin coined the phrase, “Stop shouldin’ all over yourself”. This Ageless-sage likens it to the ability to find joy in everything. It is there under all the muck of our thinking about how it “should” be. Things just are the way they are. If it is something we do not like, don’t get caught in complaining about it, DO something to change the outcome. Jack Canfield’s formula is: E + R = O (Event + Response =Outcome.) If you do not like your outcome, change your response. Take 100% responsibility
for your life. It is so worth it and we all deserve it. AND, in most cases, it is easier than you think. The mission that I spoke of earlier is a way to help bridge the gap, so to speak, as our precious loved ones enter a new develpomental stage of life. Most of us refer to that as aging.
Many of us see that time as one of hardship, loss and frustration.
Anger and hurt feelings and discord. Sometimes we even distance ourselves from those we love because we just do not know what to do.
What if, we could learn to see our aging parents and grandparents with new eyes? What if hope and smiles and laughter filled the air? What if we could feel joy and love and acceptance of this special time? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? To learn more about this idea and mission please check out, http://www.ageless-sages.com. We are here to help and feel honored to have the opportunity to do so. Blessings to ALL.
I think letting go of your so, is letting go of the “So What” in your life. If we were to let go of the “so what” it would have a positive, not negative affect on our life because once it was gone,… “so what”!
My “so what” is a lack of discipline and procrastination, two very bad habits I have been battling with forever. I realize I use them as an excuse not to do better with my business and my life. I sometimes wonder if I’m afraid of success?!
This year I’ve been making a conscientious effort to do things more timely, let’s see if it makes a difference.
Look, I received this email today and I’m responding to it today, I didn’t put it in my ” to get to pile, that I never get to” See… I will be successful and I will put my “so what” in the “so what” pile where it belongs.
Hi Michael, Last June 19, 2007 driving to Dallas I stopped outside El Paseo, Tx to rest. I was found 2 days later beside my car on the ground & taken to the hopital in El Paseo. three days later I was aware of a bright white lite in my ICU room with brilliaant neon letters spelling out ‘BELIEVE”. I left the hospital 2 wks later being driven back to Palm springs, CA where I was bedridden for 6 wks in severe back pain. Now Feb. 2008 I am pain free & almost back to a form of my former self. I still need rest but can do my yard & other neccessities. I am now a decon in my church and head of prayer requests for our congregation. I know God is my savior and life director. I am joyously grateful & thankful. “Letting go of my so” is accepting God and letting him take control of my life. Your books have given me several winning signs to help me change my former self & path. Thank you. Robert Kemp, Palm Springs, CA
Letting go of my so. For me I have bad memories of my childhood, teens and adulthood. Until today all my actions and behaviour reflect all those ugly things. Hate myself sometimes, have inferiority complex (feel as though people always look down on me, misunderstood by families and friends…enough is enough. Going to make sure that I will change my life around and be able to hold my head high. At least when I leave this world I can do it in dignity.
Having read all those comments, I
can empathise with them. Well I am going to quit looking at the future but to redeem the time at hand. NEVER QUIT.
Letting go of my so; means letting your self out of the traps, could have’s, wish I could have’s, but most important letting go of the fears that are holding you back! Don’t wait for money, or good luck or whatever. letting go of my so means taking a chance on being you on being happy right where you are and with whom you are because your imperfections make you perfect! So, let go of your so so that you can begin building the new YOU!
I read the article and comments and I’m incredibly moved… I’ve had so many So’s… like everyone else! My biggest one that I’m so ready to let go of is a disability I always have had and I’ve always thought I had to work harder to prove to everyone that I was as good and as capable as anyone else.
I’m in a wheelchair… always have been… so what??
Deep down I know I am very capable… the stories I have held on to to push myself further along are meaningless.
So… story has gone… and so has my So!
Thank you Michael for the opportunity to share
Jeanne
http://www.goalsnaspirations.com
Because of the painful story I lived for just long enough to learn this, I’ve known for a long time now now that there is NOTHING in this world that offers me ANY security, freedom or permanence of condition while within the physical manifestations of this very physical and emotional world where we each came to LEARN to live in our “now”.
If this is SO, if there is no worldly security, why do we behave otherwise? I believe that the word “so” is the warm, fuzzy word we’ve placed before each of the illusions that we construct to keep our selves believing that everything I’ve said above is false! The Way to let Go of Our So is to be honest with our selves and let go of every one of those illusions and simply face living with NO security!
Simply for a misplaced sense of false security, we hang onto things no longer needed from our past, old beliefs (especially of our “rightness”), “I’ve been a victim” thoughts, ideas of worthlessness, and attitudes of racial, religious, intellectual or other forms of superiority. In their own strange way they seem SO comforting, SO reassuringly “unchanging a condition”, SO valuable a “story” and SO important to continuing our presentation of our favorite self image — the one that gets us the attention (and other rewards) we falsely learned early to feel we need to be “secure”.
We surround our true but hidden selves in what then becomes the SHADOW of a “true life lived” because it seems to offer us SO much security, SO much sympathy from others, SO much vindication to justify our own actions, and SO many excuses for not living in the magical moment of “now”.
Keeping our “story” alive (and our true selves in bondage to it) requires SO much subterfuge, SO much dishonesty with one’s self, SO much side-lining of our talents and gifts, SO much emotional roller coasting, SO much pain, guilt, debilitating anger and other dramatic, outrageous behaviors that serve only to keep us within this “all-too-comfortable” zone from which we fear to emerge.
So, if this is not true, what IS true for YOU? Are you FREE of your ego — your need to be right? That’s what’s ahead for EACH of us — our life’s job, and it’s a good one to have. Responsibility is the end result — full, 100% responsibility for each of our lives, and that’s almost like heaven, really!
Hi Michael and all the wonderful and inspirational writers and readers!
Having had my share of life’s challenges and in the process as most people do I had created a large shadow over my life from very early childhood on. This shadow tainted all my experiences and hung over every one of my thoughts and actions. The result from my perspective and that of most who have observed me is a tremendously messy outcome. Financial chaos, failed marriage, failed attempts at reconciliation with my children. Mostly through innaction.
Fortunately for me the voyage has brought what I can only define as angels on my path. Also being an avid reader I’ve never given up on my search for knowing just what it is that makes us so vulnerable to life’s events and our personal experiences in dealing with these events.
For me the ‘So’ you refer to in your wonderful story is the simple question you ask when you finally agree to see for the first time that how you are deeling with the current situation is not serving you, nor the people you care for and does absolutely nothing for the greater good.
How do I move on? How do I not expect to relive my relationships as in the past, to accept this person however changed or not as I wished her to be, this new situation however not wanted or appreciated, these events however difficult and challenging.
These challenges and outcomes are all created from an ego perspective. So… how do I transcend my ego self and learn to live from a place of unconditional love. To see this situation and my life with full compassion and an open loving heart.
Well for me this realisation came only recently and I admit to still be struggling, mostly unable to move into concrete actions towards a very worthy dream. Just this week I’ve started laying out a master plan to carry out my intentions but still try to deal with this nagging voice which sets doubts in my ability to break through. Mostly the fear is a recurring feeling of helplessness and once again falling into a mode of getting ready to move(translation: stuck in innaction).
But for the first time I’ve come armed with the knowledge that I don’t need to overcome ego, thus destroying it, but simply to make it my ally and a trusted friend. My internal dialogue is focused on being loved and cherished and that my identity is not in peril. But most importantly to simply understand that my ego functions as a subordinate to love which is my overseeing strenght and direction. Bottom line is that humility is an inherent and all important characteristic of ego.
Only thus can we gain the full realisation and appreciation for the wonderful and powerful spirit that each and every one of us truly is. We will not be served well by a self sabotaging egotistic child that even though believes it is acting in the best interest of the whole has to accept it’s role and in the process will be loved and cherished beyong expectations.
Having finally come to this place I can truly understand the inner conflicting messages for the first time in my life. Living out of the love in my heart has been a tremendous blessing and I’m truly humbled by all the inspiration and direction that has come to me in time of need.
To write this has given me tremendous pleasure and satisfaction and I’m grateful for having connected with you Michael as well as all the people you have brought together in this forum and through your books & CD’s.
With all my love,
Gérald
hi Michael,
for me the so is my thoghts. i wish there was a way i could control my thoughts.to let go of so means be able to control thoughts for me…..
I think the “so” is the in- breath. We have to let it go so that we can have another breath to be alive! This represents the in and out, or holding and letting go, ebb and flow, giving and receiving….. Your question made me think of a breathing course I once did. I havent read your site yet but was inspired to answer the question immediately, before I read or contemplated or discussed….
Thank you, in advance, for your being and sharing!
Hi Michael,
How to let go of you so—-
for me this is all arising thought, and the surrender of them. Namely your Ego.
Big hi to all wealthy souls here,
With all what am holding over my shoulders for years now I can think about a meaning to this big So.. I guess “How to let go of your So” is how to let go of your SOrrow. As everything that we are unable to let go has to do with our accumulated sorrow.
Wish you all a SOrrow-less life.
Peace,
Before she died 7 years ago, my mother always told me that she wanted me to have her engagement ring. When she died I said this to the family and they agreed that I should have it to remember her by. I remember talking to a friend and saying that I would be afraid to wear it in case I ever lost it, and she advised me to wear it and enjoy it. I started wearing it. One year on my journey home to see my father, I was horrified to look at my finger and realise that the ring was no longer there. Worse still I had no idea exactly where I had lost it.
That’s not all! She had also given me her mother’s gold watch (which I also wore and was very fond of). I took it to the jeweller she had always used for cleaning, but when I went to pick it up they gave me back a gold watch which was very similar but definitely not the same watch. For months I argued that there’d been some mistake, but the original watch was never found.
There was another incident as well but I won’t make this too long!
I began to ask myself “why? What’s the message for me here?” and began to see that beating myself up over these issues wasn’t resourceful. What’s important I think is the energy which remains between us when our loved ones die, not necessarily their earthly possessions, and I still feel her presence in some form acutely at times.
In short all this marked the beginning of an ongoing, long and difficult journey of ‘letting go’ towards a new ‘self’ and reminding myself that there is often a bigger picture.
Thank you Michael for sharing your experiences and your wonderful articles!
Im a Filipina single mom of 5 kids. No paternal support, I have been taking care of my kids way before I left my ex husband. I have struggled to live the conventional(traditional for some) way of single moms, struggling to make ends meet, sacrificing comfort to not let my kids experience discomfort. For a good 10 years or so, I have worked to get them what every kid deserves, education, good food, clothing and some little extras aside from a comfortable place to live in. needless to say, as we all have seen, I was burning out fast until one day, i said “Life does not have to be hard to show that youve worked hard. I beleive that life can be happy, easy, without being a martyr. I quit my job, (which was paying very well) and decided to do something i enjoyed… getting online. I loved learning anything and everything, I loved the joy of being able to know how things work. I am enjoying myself, so surprisingly, even if i am still not earning the same income as I did, expenses seem to be much lighter. I actually find joy in waiting for my bills to come and paying them off!!!
So’s are conventional conclusions: If(premise of something), then so. I dont believe that what you are now determines what you should be in your future. So’s are used for what was. If that’s the case, then I choose to be who I am and move up to the next level. Let go of al your so’s and create who you are… go for what makes you happy!
Letting go of my “So” is about letting go of thoughts and behaviors that have hindered my progress. . .letting go of my “So” means moving out of the “house” without windows or doors. . .it’s been a place of self-imprisonment.
I own that more often in my life I have held myself back with my So!
Everytime I let ‘So’ go I experience freedom!
Thanks for reminding me.
I think letting go of your so is….I’m overweight, so…I won’t attract a partner. I have a particular challenge (like being a single parent, or not being as smart as my sibling, or I don’t have a college degree) so…I won’t ever succeed at anything. It’s letting go of our negative thought patterns, our disempowering attitudes, our victim thinking, and replacing them with belief in ourselves and recognizing that we all create our realities and we can choose to stop creating failure and misery and choose instead to create all the success and happiness and abundance we desire.
Soowhat! what’s next, all of this must be looked at as a new choice. A new day , time, persons, the Now!!! The dwelling must end with the new thought, uplift yourself with your own words, vocalize, vibrate the good in you, sing praises to God the one in you
So is simply what is. What is so for each of us. The letting go part is where I see the troubled water.
I believe we all have so’s to let go. I have currently gone through a so. Moving from a rural area, with lots of land, no close neighbours, room to walk or sit amidst the wildlife, to the suburbs of a small town, after thirty years. The so is that I had anticipated staying where we are until the end. I am still in good health but my spouse, while enjoying where we are finds it too isolated particularly in winter to the point of creating anxiety attacks.
In life we all have to bend a bit in order to come to an agreement with our partner. Now that the decision is made I look back to realize that the so was greater in my mind than the reality.
This is not an easy issue…after all I was raised with a perseption of “keep everything it might come in handy at some point”. Thank you for the blessing of the teaching…I am surprized to read about something I was thinking of just last week and have been learning to do for the past 10 years and as time goes on I have realized how paralized I was and how much I have gained as I let go of all my SO’s I still have so much to learn and agree on doing for the sake of of all my loved ones and of course for God which is the first one to ask me to do so…
Bless you all and Happy Valintines Day. Hugs Kisses and Blessings….Diana
For me it means letting go of “expectation”, which is something I was ironically just thinking about yesterday, before reading your emails. Disappointment seems to come when what we expect to happen doesn’t. Remember there is no reality, just perception.
Thanks for the thought provoking email.
Cindy (Australia)
My father died when I was 2 and my mother was my whole world and support and bread winner. When she had Alzheimer’s I was terrified,sad and afraid. I had suddenly become her caretaker and she was so sad and confused and I became very depressed and felt I wasn’t able to handle our reversed roles and felt I didn’t do well and hated myself for my inability to take care of her the way she took care of me. I beat myself up for because I lost my love and support.
So-my stuff is my insecurity and poverty mentality from the depression. Sooo-my beating myself up and feeling inferior because my father died when I was two and I was different from everyone else who has a complete family Sooo my happiness and success cannot happen until I clear out, clean out my house and mind and spirit of erroneous thoughts and actions mainly against myself for suspected faults and failures–So, I pledge to forgive myself, be happy, cheerful and successful.!!!
“How to Let Go of your….
1. self occuponcy
2. self outright
Let go of my so……..
So being an expression of thinking I understand – have all the answers when in actual fact I have to let go of that supposed knowing and surrender to a God that will lead me to true freedom.
Let go of your negative thoughts and feelings……
One evening a Cherokee elder told his grandson about the battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between the two “wolves” that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self-pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth, and compassion.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, ” The one you feed.”
Letting go of the so…..fear! Fear of not being good enough, fear of continuing to live with a husband who has no affection for me , fear of not being who I think I should be…In this life there is either fear or love, I am trying to let go of the fear of yesterday’s baggage and tomorrows unknown. Trying to live in the “now”, do what is “right” and not worry about the “what if’s” of tomorrow.
So….. nobody is buying antiques.. ads didn’t work… nobody has any money…. So what if you throw it out? Oh, you can’t, can you? It’s part of who you are.
Soooooooooooo
you found another way. You called an RE auctioneer who just so happened to need a house staged with these lovely items. The buyers are there, they are bidding for these items – demonstrating their sincere desire to own them!! The auctioneer is full of life and love, much like your mother, and you are happy.
Sooooooooooo, you let go. You had fun and moved forward. 🙂
By the way, if this is NOT what you did, call me, I’m an auctioneer
So Stands for the soul. Yes the soul is not fettered by what the mind thinks. To free the soul from fetters, let go the mind. The mind creates illusions, bot good and bad. if you remain a witness, a spectator, it will subside for a want of audience. then the soul is free. then you are liberated. the whole universe is yours.
I love your writing and style. You are bringing solace to so many. may you be inspired to continue.
With best wishes
Ravi
To me, “Lettin Go of My So” means we must learn how to let go of all our past grudges, pains and past hurts in order for us to move on & learn how to love unconditionally.
Thank you & God Bless!
JoJo
Letting go of your So……
What a powerful statement. For me letting go of my so means that with my home in foreclosure due to a spouse being out of work, having to redefine who I am with the loss…..
I have tied so much of who I think I am into my home that I felt I have lost part of myself. Will I be the same without it….YES……the external things of this life are only extensions of who I already am.They external things may have helped shape me……Like the the things that my parents had……the furniture I grew up with….but do they really make me, me. NO….I am who I am without the attachment to the external things….yes they did help me along the way…..but now they could prevent me from growing.
For me Letting go of My SO…..
it is time to grow a little…painful maybe…but what a wonderful adventure to look forward to.
Cheryl
Letting go of our “So” looks to me like letting go of our old excuses as to why we’ve done some ot the things we’ve done in our lives and stop falling back on excuses. We need to own up to our decisions and use them to grow when they’ve turned out to be less than ideal or even downright bad ones. We can also learn what’s good from looking at things from a different point of view.
Have a Great Valentine’s Day everyone.
Letting go of my so..I lost my mom in June/07 and I have been so focused on her tragic death, that it has been hard to move forward. It finally hit me, I need to focus on her life. Mom was 85. When I take my mind off of how she died and focus on her awesome life and the part that I played in it, I feel so much better.
Letting go of my so..I lost my mom in June/07 and I have been so focused on her tragic death, that it has been hard to move forward. It finally hit me, I need to focus on her life. Mom was 85. When I take my mind off of how she died and focus on her awesome life and the part that I played in it, I feel so much better.
It’s all about conquering our inner self! If we can overcome our deepest fears and worries we ‘re on top, ready to cross that bridge that’s stopping us in our living our happy lives. For we are all born to overcome ego and blow away our faults in order to make this world happier and better place for us and our community and for those dears that come after us. God bless all souls!
when I see something that I find ‘good’, I accept it as my own and take in inside me together with that which is also ‘bad’ somewhere in the world. I do it so I can harmonize and transform it all into peace and love for me and everything around in the world that is there as it is for me to experience, good or bad, and me in it for the world to experience, good or bad.
Well I would say Letting Go of your SO comes after you have actually let go and you think SO why didn’t I do that sooner. It isn’t so bad once it is let go of.
I have had a lot of so’s and like others mine was a marriage that wasn’t working I kept holding on I didn’t want to admit that I had made a third mistake but once I did finally let go I said SO why didn’t I do this sooner I feel so much better.
My teen left home, and is in a scary city, I am worried about him, and I am having kid withdraws. He is with bad associations. My God I miss him so much.
I have to let go of “my so”, and say “I forgive you, I love you” to myself, if I am to see my son safe. Maybe I am in a habit of worrying or something.
Maybe I have to write, why I should “let go of my so”, in order to convince myself? Maybe writing, and then reading it, is a way to actually see it more clearly?
Dorothy
RE:
Maybe writing down all of the reasons, why we should “let go of our so”, is a form of taking action?
My teen left home, and is in a scary city, I am worried about him, and I am having kid withdraws. He is with bad associations. My God I miss him so much.
I have to let go of “my so”, and say “I forgive you, I love you” to myself, if I am to see my son safe. Maybe I am in a habit of worrying or something.
Maybe I have to write, why I should “let go of my so”, in order to convince myself? Maybe writing, and then reading it, is a way to actually see it more clearly?
Dorothy
RE:
Maybe we should “let go of our so”, as a way of clearing the path, and making room for change.
Maybe writing down all of the reasons, why we should “let go of our so”, is a form of taking action?
My teen left home, and is in a scary city, I am worried about him, and I am having kid withdraws. He is with bad associations. My God I miss him so much.
I have to let go of “my so”, and say “I forgive you, I love you” to myself, if I am to see my son safe. Maybe I am in a habit of worrying or something.
Maybe I have to write, why I should “let go of my so”, in order to convince myself? Maybe writing, and then reading it, is a way to actually see it more clearly?
Dorothy
“so”………
(blank) happened to me, SO therefore (rationalized behavior)
The heading is catchy—I CAN LET GO OF MY SO—THANK YOU!
Letting go of my so….well, I think I know what that means. My so’s are the things that I add on to issues in my life which encourage me to postpone, or not act on them. I am 51 years of age and without a job. I have an education degree and an art certification and here is my so…employers are looking for younger people…SO I am too old…employers are looking for people with experience…I haven’t worked full time in 20 years, (raising kids, three wonderful boys!)SO they won’t look at me twice. How does one let go of her so? Really! I would like to know. My SO’s get the best of me most times. I do try to eliminate them with positive thinking…that works until I apply for a job and don’t get it, then we are right back to where we started, thinking about the so! And that, in a nut shell is what causes your so’s to have life. Thinking about them until they materialize before your very eyes! It gives a whole new meaning to reaping what you so! 🙂
Jan
Things—relationships—situations–are are only “So” because of some belief we hold. We create our own reality moment by moment. We create that reality according to a set of beliefs which were installed by well-meaning people from the day we were born–parents—teachers—religious leaders. All of our thinking revolves around this installed set of “So’s”. Since thoughts become things, what we see in our daily lives is what we think most. Change or get rid of the “So’s” and what we “see”, changes.
It is now a fact of physical reality, because of relatively recent advances in quantum physics, that the observer cannot be separated from the observed and the same quantum particle can be in more than one place at one time. This means that things can only exist in your reality if you think them into reality and this same you can be in more than one reality at one time. “So’s are patterns of thought which we have accepted—or because of circumstance—developed. No one else is responsible and no thing outside of yourself can put something on you without your permission.
Actually your “So’s” are what you are. You do not see what you want in this life(and the billions of others you live simultaneously)—you see what you are. You are your “So’s”. Change them consciously and your life changes automatically.
This is what I did to begin the change. I simply looked around my immediate environment. All the things I kept around me represented some beliefs I held. Mostly useless things that just cluttered up my space—representing, of course, many useless “So’s” cluttering up my conscious mind. I simply began to remove them, a single item at a time—knowing that with each removal a part of the clutter in my mind was being removed. There was so much clutter that there was no room for anything new in my space—-and coincidentally in my life. I did not know exactly, at first, which piece of clutter represented which belief I held. It did not matter. I just knew it was not useful for what I seemed to want. I judged each little piece of clutter by how useful it was in my everyday operation.
As the clutter dwindled away—new and fresh ideas began to present themselves. Even the idea of a life partner began to present itself. There had been no room for her before. When I realized that she had not appeared in my life simply because I had heretofore not made room for her—I got excited! I set up a simple but elegant bedroom for her out of some of the useful clutter, even to the point of hanging an ornate robe in the closet which she would use when she woke in the mornings. I picked the robe out of several for the exact size I ‘expected’ her to be.
One of the “So’s” I had accepted had been that I would never have another successful relationship with a woman. The act of uncluttering and actually preparing for her–forced the letting go of that old “So”.
Finally, all of the clutter was gone from my immediate environment. I was down to the absolute necessities to do what I do. Four pencils, four pens, one ream of paper, eight sets of clothes, three pair of shoes, enough food for two days, office supplies enough to accomplish the essentials—Well—you get the idea. I knew where everything was and everything that was—was essential–nothing frivolous.
Then I made a buggin’ list. I actually carried a note pad on which I would write down things that bugged me during the day. At night I would review the list and try to see how my thinking had brought about those things that bugged me—and began to “Pay Attention”. What kind of thinking would ‘unbug’ me? The opposite of course!
The next step was segment intending. That is where I broke up my day into a series of separate events. I would think before I embarked on any task—trivial or not—just what result I expected. Each segment of the day–began to go as I wanted.
When things began to go right–segment after segment–just about all the time—I really realized it was the product of my thinking. Now I really made an effort to pay attention to what I was thinking all the time. The more I was successful at doing so, the more things went my way and the “So’s” really began dropping off—or disappearing from my mind. I learned to ignore what was in my face, even when it was contrary to what I wanted, and paid attention to my true desire.
I now have a totally successful business doing what I enjoy—I play all day—and the woman who fit the robe exactly is right now lying in my bed–which has only one extra blanket:)
So—that is what dropping the “So’s” means. However, in order to do it successfully, you must endeavor to develop a real belief in yourself as a co-creator with All That Is and trust implicitly to the wisdom and abundance of the Universe. The above is only one of many ways to accomplish it.
Namaste!
Before we can let go of the “so” in our lives, we have to be willing to question and let go of the unhealthy thoughts we have and hold onto. It our negative thoughts that keep us stuck and our “stinking thinking” then creates the “so”.
RE: Last try at guessing
A way to “let go of our so”, is by transforming one reality into another, and thus creating a new reality?
Understanding what our “so” is that we want to “let go” of, gives us a seed to nurture, while we patiently watching it grow?
It has to be when we are ready, at the right time, for each of us, when we are ready?
A friend once told me, that we have to let go, for our wishes to be able to manifest. She said that we cannot “make” it happen, that we have decide what we wish for, and then we have to release it into the universe.
She told me not to focus on that which I don’t want. I think I am finally beginning to grasp this one.
RE:
Maybe we should “let go of our so”, as a way of clearing the path, and making room for change?
Maybe writing down all of the reasons, why we should “let go of our so”, is a form of taking action?
My teen left home, and is in a scary city, I am worried about him, and I am having kid withdraws. He is with bad associations. My God I miss him so much.
I have to let go of “my so”, and say “I forgive you, I love you” to myself, if I am to see my son safe. Maybe I am in a habit of worrying or something.
Maybe I have to write, why I should “let go of my so”, in order to convince myself? Maybe writing, and then reading it, is a way to actually see it more clearly?
Dorothy
Letting go of your “So”?
What is “so”?
For me its “So, what’s holding you back, stopping you from moving forward”? Whatever it is, it’s time to let it go!
“Let it go and watch your life flow”
So what’s my story about ‘Letting Go of my So’. It’s quite simple really. Most of my family think I take life too seriously and believe ONLY in hard work and more hard work, with no time or interest in having some FUN and RELAXATION. They tell me “relax”, “take it easy”, “enjoy life”. The children and younger ones simply say “chill, Pa”, and those more intimate say “Let Go So” (because ‘So’ happens to be my nickname, short for Sohrab). But if someone were to tell my wife, “Let go of your So”, which to her would mean ‘letting go of me’, she would probably be hysterical, at least so I think!
So, if I were in Dr. Norwood’s Inner Circle, and my so-called ‘seriousness about life’ was getting in the way of ‘making things happen’ or ‘missing out on something’, maybe he would have also said, “So, just Let Go of your So”. Now, reflecting on what that could possibly mean, it seems it could mean ‘Simple obsession’ or to put it more bluntly ‘Sheer obstinacy’, as ‘So’ could be an abbreviation for both these.
And coming back to my story, I think what my family probably feels is that I’m simply obsessed with ‘work’ or what most people would see as ‘work’, whereas I actually enjoy most of what I’m busy doing. And in that case, there’s nothing really to ‘Let Go’, as far as I’m concerned. At least that’s my view. After all, at 60+, one’s entitled to one’s own views, or may be this 60+ label is something I need to let go of.
Reading through all the interesting posts, I must say Dr. Norwood has already inspired most of his readers to introspect on their ‘So’ and to ‘Let Go’. It’s really impressive to see such a great response every time.
So, in humility.
excuses..
Hi, my name is Jackie. I believe letting go of your so is, “EGO”, the one within, who gets us into trouble most of the time.We must begin to live in the Now,this very moment in time.By doing so,you will always live in the moment, as spiritual Beings.The past, the future, none truly matters, it’s either over, or not here yet, so why not be in the now. Ego leads us in the opposite way, letting us know we have lack in our lives, & things will never change, not so, not ever. So squash that ego of yours, & live for today, for that is all we have, this very moment in time. Think positive at all times, & that is what you’ll receive in the end, only good in return.Follow your heart, & go with your instincts at every turn, even if you don’t understand it at the moment.All good is awaiting all of us,so remember to always be present in this moment. Most people walk around unconscious of their thoughts, be the one who is conscious of all that you perceive. Jackie
Does giving giving up you “so” mean Stubborn Opinions?
Thanks for Wealthy Souls!
I’m going to Let Go of My So by
being so Greatful for every moment
and feeling each Breath is filling me and everyone with a Brand New Life of Love & Light.
I Am going to Create the Greatest Day Ever every day knowing we are all Universal SuperStars in the Greatest Movie ever made.
We are all so very Blessed to Be Alive and to be able to Breathe and Feel and Touch & See & Hear & Move & have wonderful Bodies, Minds and Spirits and be connected in the Great Oneness of Life.
It’s Valentines Day so I am going to Celebrate by Writing this Inspiring Message to Our World of
Wonderful Friends, by Playing Harp at my favorite places- Cafes & Health Food stores in Sedona-
dressing up like Cupid and spreading the Joy and Love through
music. Knowing everyday and every
moment is Fresh & New and it’s a brand new Day and Lifetime to create it just the way we wish.
I’m going to print some of my beautiful photos and continue creating my photo portfolio and gallery so I can share some of my
24,000 images with friends because I have been so inspired traveling to 35 countries and 27 states, I want to inspire others with the beauty of Nature & Flowers & our Beautiful World.
I am so glad to be able to be giving Quantum Angelic Sessions for
friends that visit me in Sedona & call me at 928-301-7355.
I am so thankful and grateful to Michael Norwood for all his inspiration and Great Work and giving us all an opportunity to share our Wealthy Soul Gifts. He is the ArchAngel of the Angel Team of Light.
We have all evolved over billions of years to come to this brilliant
place in time and space to have such great lives right now.
Life is filled with Miracles happening every moment and the Extraordinary is in the Ordinary. We are so very blessed and I am so grateful for this Great Life and knowing how important we all are in this Great Movie of Life. Letting Go of the So is easy when we know what the Angels know- they are whispering Loving Messages in Our Ears- if we Listen, we can Hear them. Blessings are Raining down
upon us all. when I am Grateful and Thankful for every moment in Time something very magical happens.
An Attitude of Gratitude is a magical key that opens the door…
and then there are no doors
With love, light & Blessings,
Cheerio, Mia “Angelica”
MY THOUGHTS ON THE MEANING OF ‘SO’
LET GO OF THE ‘SO’ … THE ‘SO’ IS CALLED BY MANY NAMES … IT IS THE ‘REASON’ ‘JUSTIFICATION’ ‘EXPLANATION’ ‘PERMISSION-GIVER’ … IT CONTAINS THE ENERGY OF ‘WHEW, NOW I AM (OR MY ACTION IS) VINDICATED … THE ‘SO’ USUALLY MAKES US FEEL ‘OK’ WHILE THE OTHER (PERSON OR CIRCUMSTANCE) IS NOT OK.
TODAY IS VALENTINE’S DAY … THE DAY WE CELEBRATE LOVE SOOOOOOOOO LET US PLEDGE TO TURN THAT ‘SO’ AROUND FOREVER … LET’S LET OUR ‘SO’S’ BE FOLLOWED ONLY BY THE WORDS “I WILL LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY … FOR THAT IS THE REAL PURPOSE OF MY LIFE, AND LOVE IS WHO I AM”
I HAVE FOUGHT MANY BATTLES IN MY LIFETIME IN THE WORLD OF ‘SO’ … AND SOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GREW WEARY ON THE BATTLE FIELD WITH TWO NEGATIVES ALWAYS FLANKING EITHER SIDE OF MY ‘SO’S’ …
IN MY WEARINESS I BECAME TOO TIRED TO EVEN PICK UP MY ‘SO’ TO DO BATTLE … THIS WAY OF ‘SO’ DID NOT FEED MY SOUL AND I WAS SLOWLY DYING, I FELT.
BUT WAS I TRULY DYING, OR WAS JUST MY ‘SO’ TIRED OF ITS ROLE OF LEADING THE ‘CHARGE AGAINST THE ENEMY’?
SOMETHING HAD TO SHIFT, RADICALLY. I KNEW I MUST BEGIN TO HONOR MY ‘SO’ … TO GIVE MY ‘SO’ TRUE LIFE THAT I MIGHT LIVE … TO MAKE MY ‘SO’ MY REASON FOR LIVING …..
‘SO’ TODAY I EMBRACE THIS GOAL:
I LIVE ‘SO’ I MAY LOVE … ‘SO’ I MAY LIVE LOVE … ‘SO’ LOVE, THE TRUE ESSENCE OF ALL CREATION, LIGHTS OUR WAY FOREVER MORE …
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL :))))
The “So” represents the excuses we make, and the self-sabotaging, self-comforting, numbing behaviors and attitudes we often turn to in order to feel alive, accepted, loved, important, relief, comfort or security. Yet they disconnect us from life, connection with God and others, and they often cause harm.
I was born into what I call the ‘element of Love’ on February 19, 1947. I had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. I was blue. This caused my mother to be angry at the doctor. I was already ‘poor little Trisha’ right from the start. I know now that my sister was not at fault when she dubbed me ‘Trasha’ and she and her friends ditched me and refused to let me play with them. I had a need to be ‘poor little Trisha’.
I completely forgot all these early happenings until my life started to be painful for me. The small business my husband and I started years ago suddenly was not very profitable. In fact, it was losing money! In my search to discover why, I rediscovered ‘poor little Trisha’. Could it be that I was still playing out that old scenario? I know that I must let go of this person who I have allowed to run my life! So, there’s my ‘So’.
Ihave lost my partner SO what am I going to do with out him?
I have lost my home and do not know where I shall live or what will happen to me SO what shall I do?
I am now bankrupt and also lost my job SO how am I going to be able to stay any where and pay towards my keep.
My health is poor and I am in cronic pain SO how if I find work am I going to manage to do it?
I have worked hard to change my life and come away from psychiatric care SO why do I have to go through So much more.
I DON’T KNOW SO I LET GO AND LET GOD.
Thank you for everyones story and for sharing mine.
Every Blessing Naomi
I am 36 year old female with a life of victim stories. The story of my illegitimate conception, my sexual abuse at three at the hands of my father, three abortions, one to a married man, my failed marriage to my church minister 20 years older and the list goes on. I was the master at living in victim consciousness.
I am also a master at surviving and in spite of all my suffering, much of it subconsciously self inflicted, I have amazing stories to tell of divine interventions, synchronistic events and a universe willing to support my bravery while engaging in the healing process. I literally once caught a baby bird down the back of my shirt as I walked past it’s nest in a tree, at the time a clear sign for me to take my own leap of faith.
So what does letting go of the So mean for me? For me it’s about realization. Realizing that the past is the past and tommorrow is a new day. It’s about about acceptance. Acccepting my past has shaped me and played a role in leading me to where I am today while accepting it’s not who I am. It’s about freedom of choice. The freedom of choosing the direction I want each new day to bring to my life and it’s about empowerment. Empowering myself by learning to love myself no matter what. So what have I got to loose in letting go of the so? My false self. What do I have to gain? My true self 🙂 For me letting go opens me up to letting in.
Hi.Dr Michael N.Admire your much needed lifes mission and ability to keep it simple yet effective.Have two set of your Wealthy soul books,hoping to get the 20 minute visit with you.Loved the content and having been a stockbroker can relate to your fathers life.Also I have a granddauther chiropractor.Now I have a request for advice if you can work it in.I have ask over 300 people in high places and all walks of life to meet with me at their convenience for guidence in the best way to promote information I have that will prevent most family breakups and will share the rewards with them.Only 2 responded,no time but goodluck.Why? So,equal sour thoughts.Thank you,Russ
Whenever I become fearful of moving out of an unhealthy or uncomfortable situation because of where I may move is unknown, I allow “so” to justify my immobility. It goes like this…”So, things could be worse.” So there I stay feeling bad, angry, unsatisfied, numb, etc. This “so” keeps me stuck because I’m looking for a guarantee that I will move into a better situation.If when I change that thinking into what I want and think, “So, things could be better,” and truly believe that the better is what I deserve and will obtain, I can move on. This is much easier for me to intellectualize than do.
Hi Michael, I have been reading the articles posted, they are all inspiring. I would normally not get involved and stick my neck out to write my thoughts and feeling I have posted on blogs before and felt very vulnerable…what if I say something that would offended someone? What if, what I write sounds foolish? So what.. I am stepping out of my comfort zone..so what?
Letting go of your SO…for me is, letting go of my attachments. I believe that I can only really let go of physical attachments, attachment to objects or to people. Yet, these attachements can be very strong. It is when the object gives us a memory that is dear to our heart and mind that it becomes more difficult to let it go. For me it is much easier to let the object go when I realise that the experiences around the object is always with me, this experience has helped to make the Who and What I am today.
Seven years ago I was not happy with how things were working out in my life. I was working in a job that didn’t fulfill me. So I asked more like demanded spirit to show me my purpose. Poof, in my minds eye I was given my life’s review. Pictures of my experiences was flashed to me,the experiences that moulded my perception of myself and my place in the Universe. From the time that I was born on to the planet to the moment I was sitting in my bedroom. With each flash I felt the feeling of the experience. I was reminded of many wonderful experiences that I had forgotten about. Connections with my Soul. When my life review was over I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of love and joy. I knew from the depths of my soul that there is no judgement. God does not judge us and when we decide to cross over or leave our physical body there is no judgement day. I know with every fabric of my being that we each have a life’s review before we cross over, I was given a marvellous gift that day. To realise that it is in the living of life that I am living My Purpose. My purpose is to live in joy, live life from Unconditional Love. I am truly thankful for this realisation.
I have come to realize that in truth no one has ever made a mistake. Nothing that we have ever done is out of accordance with who we are and what we have asked to experience. Judgement is a thought form that is made only after the experience from which it was made no longer exists. The only thing that stops us from reaching our full potential is a thought in our mind. Have you heard the saying, ” you are what you think you are”. Those darn thoughts anyway. All cause and effect comes from the mind and from the feelings. Thought and feelings and emotions create our realty. When something comes to you in the way of feelings it becomes law on to your life. Until you transform these feelings. It is each of our responsibility to heal our feeling body. All our emotions are created by our experiences. We teach each other to live in fear, to react in anger. to react with jealousy, to hate, to be prejudice, and to judge. These patterns/core beliefs are passed on from one generation to the next. The patterns/core beliefs that produce the emotions are set from our experiences and our interaction with each other. My experiences, my feeling, my emotions, will always be who I am. If the experiences that I have had, my feelings, and my emotions that I have, pull my away from my true essence. My truest essence being Unconditional Love then it is up to me to transforms all of it. So, what I have found in myself is that with past experiences I develop a core belief about the experience and a core belief about myself. I found that when I transform that core belief the emotional response to the experience vanishes.
I have replace the word ‘forgiveness’ with the word “acceptance”. For me if we have never made a mistake and in truest sence there is no judgnement, than all I really need is to accept. Accept each experience, accept each person for who they are. I am them and they are me and what we are is everything.
For me an illumined mind is one that knows and sees all from Unconditional Love. Anger, fear, jealousy, resentment, are all products of our mind. They are learned emotions from our physical experiences, they are passed from one generation to the next. We can not let go of our experience. We can not in reality let go of emotions or let go of feelings. What we can do is change, transform the way we see these. It is in our awareness that we can start to work on our patterns/your core beliefs. I beleive that I must be responsible of being aware of how I act and react. What vibration am I emiting to the world with my thoughts, with my words. I must align my vibration with unconditional love if this is truly what I want to experience.
Be in the fullness of every now moment and let tomorrow look after itself. And as I write these words I am struck with the awareness that it is much easier to write then to live it. I still feel paralized by something, I am not sure of what that is keeping me from my full potential..What could that be? Any suggestion.
Namasta
I am 61 years of age and have recently let go of my job security for a “work from home” – a better lifetyle.
My letting go was initially the specific things I worried about – but now I see I have to let go of the way I have operated and thought most of my life. This involves discovering and trusting my true inner-self and meeting life’s challenges courageously rather than ‘living by default”. I am an overcomer!
Michael, thank you so very much for sharing your exceptional talents and the depth of your wisdom with the rest of us. I have read your emails since last year; cannot recall at what time they appeared in my inbox, but always felt a sense of inspiration coming from your writing. And now, for the first time ever, I feel inspired to respond on an internet forum.
The thought that came to me instantly when I read your first email and the title you had given it, was a resounding “I know!” What we need to “let go of” is our ATTACHMENTS. O, how well I know this! But … o, how difficcult this often is!
Reading some of the wonderful and moving comments that have been posted here, it occurred to me as well, how the strings of attachment are tying everyone, all of us really, to the very things we want to let go of. If only one could clearly see that “my opinion”, “my attitude”, “my possessions”, “my position”, “my values”, “my knowledge”, “my hardships”, “my mother/father/husband/wife/child” …. “my – my – my – mine”…
are the attachments that keep us bound in acquired ways of feeling or thinking or speaking or behaving! We just get so “used” to thinking in familiar ways, acting the way we always have – even when we realize that we truly want to change.
You movingly and so lovingly told us your own story of what felt to me was your act of detaching from what were the expected ways of thinking about and dealing with your mother’s condition, and then again with your attachments to the “things” that tied you to your memories of her. You obviouly triumphed over these attachments and set yourself free to soar – as the (wealthy) soul that you are!
Secondly, your wonderful example of describing Jimmy Carter’s actions was – to me – a story that must surely have been based on the one thing that was necessary for him to begin that process: his awareness that everyone needed to let go of an attachment: of doing things the way they had always been done.
That step was one that could have led to peace … but people have just simply continued to do the things they have always done. So, sadly, the courageous steps taken by those leaders could not produce lasting peace because so many others were unable to “let go of the so”: the old familiar attachments!
My life’s personal journey has brought me to this point, where I have the awareness that “letting go of my attachments” (there are so many!) is the only way to enjoy every scene of life’s drama in the present moment. The present moment is really the only one we can consciously experience. The past is past; it has given me something to experience, but it is up to me now to look at that experience as an opportunity to learn something instead of reliving it. (And I want to mention here that there have been soooooooo many truly difficult situations in my life that I sometimes refer to it as a melodrama.) For, when I dwell in the past I cannot be in the present. And then, there is the future. If I think about it, worry, am fearful of something imagined (and I have done that often enough too), then again I am not living in the present moment. Now, this present moment, is the one in which I can take what I have learned from the past and live my life in such a way that I am creating a worthwhile future through the ations taken in awareness today.
Letting go of atttachments gives us freedom from all the bonds that tie, true FREEDOM, happiness, and joy. It may seem to be a contradiction, but life just becomes more genuine and caring. Actually, this is often the first time we truly begin to care for ourselves.
My pledge, therefore, is to remember to always be aware, and to “let go of the … attachments”.
Thank you again, Michael, for all of your words of wisdom.
Posted by Mia Margaret “Angelica”
on Valentines Day” 2008
The new improved addition (-:
I’m going to Let Go of My So & so &
so & so & so patterns by
Being so Greatful for every moment and feeling each
Breath is filling me and everyone with a Brand New Life of Love & Light.
I Am going to Create the Greatest Day Ever
every day knowing we are all Universal SuperStars
in the Greatest Movie ever made.
We are all so very Blessed to Be Alive
and to be able to Breathe and Feel and Touch & See & Hear & Move
& have wonderful Bodies, Minds and Spirits
and be connected in the Great Oneness of Life.
It’s Valentines Day so I am going to Celebrate by Writing this Inspiring Message
to Our World of Wonderful Friends,
by Playing Harp at my favorite places- Cafes & Health Food stores in Sedona-
dressing up like Cupid and spreading the Joy and Love through Music.
Knowing everyday and every moment is Fresh & New
and it’s a Brand New Day and Lifetime
to create it just the way we wish
at the Perfect Divine Time in the
Perfect Divine Order Guided by Our
Great Spirit.
I’m going to print a few of my beautiful photos and
continue creating my photo portfolio and gallery so I can share some of my
24,000+ images with friends because I have been so inspired
traveling to 35 countries and 27 states,
I want to inspire others with the beauty of Nature & Flowers & Our Beautiful World.
I am so glad to be able to be giving Quantum Angelic Sessions for
friends that visit me in Sedona & call me at 928-301-7355.
I am so thankful and grateful to Michael Norwood for all his Inspiration
and Great Work and giving us all
an opportunity to share our Wealthy Soul Gifts.
He is a true ArchAngel on The Great Team of Light.
We have all evolved over billions of years to come to this
brilliant place in time and space to have such great lives right now.
Life is filled with Miracles happening every moment
right Here & Now and
the Extraordinary is in the Ordinary.
We are so very Blessed and I am so grateful for this Great Life
and knowing how important we all are in this Great Movie of Life.
Letting Go of the So is easy when we know what the Angels (Vibrations of Light & Love) Know
They are whispering Loving Messages in Our Ears-
if we Listen, we can Hear them.
Blessings are Raining down upon us all.
When I am Grateful and Thankful for every moment in Time
something very Magical happens.
An Attitude of Gratitude is a Magical Key that opens the Door…
and then there are no Doors.
With Love, Light & Blessings,
Cheerio, Mia “Angelica”
Letting go of your so, this means letting go of your soul, let is lead you and you will be amazed how your life takes on new meaning. I had just moved to Italy a year ago with a project to open a healing center well that was my mind talking and not what my soul needed, I went through the dark night of my life and had found a greater gift than I could have ever expected, myself, my soul longing to be one with me on all levels, bringing balance and harmony, but not without a lot of work and some pain and suffering but it was all worth it, I learnt all the lessons I needed to find my soul, now I go along where the flow takes me, live in the moment, be aware, allow, and accept all that my soul has planned for me, in the end my soul and I had a contract I just needed to be ready, I thought I was last year, now I head back to the USA in April but this time we are working straight from the heart and soul not from the ego and mind. Letting go of your soul lets one soar to heights and experiences one could have never thought in ones life that is where it was going, it is more of an adventure and if you do not expect and go with the flow, inspiration and creativity enter your life and your soul purpose is activated… Blessings, Heather
Letting go of my So…. I believe that this is doing it. The next step after relalizing that you have a So holding you back. We all have things, some big and some small, that hold us in place. Find them, identify them and then take that next step in letting them go.
How to let go of your “So What!”It is in the past. We have no control of the past/ We have no control of the future. I am only responsible for me right now.
So…
so many “so’s”…it comes to me as I have allowed this word to resonate through me that this is what I feel the “so” word to be…
So, I should…
So, now what?
So what?
To bad SO sad…
So many issues…
So little time…
The dictionary defines this one little word with about 1000 words!
to name a few:
SO: in the way or manner indicated, very greatly, having the purpose of,an affirmative to emphasize or confirm, in order that…and the list goes on.
The one fact that strikes me is the power in which this one little word holds – it seems to imply that no other option or choice is available.
Interseting…
So now that I’m 16 I’m supposed to have my licence.
So now that I’ve given up smoking I suppose I’ll get fat.
AND, most powerfully what reads between the lines is SO be it and SO it is!
Whatever I have believed and held as truth in the moment can completely be echoeed by this small group of letters.
So, when would now be a great moment to let this go?
All of the “so’s”, all of the beliefs that can be attached by this small word, all of the scenarios that one can make believe are “supposed” to come along with this word.
What if we all simply eliminated this word? I wonder what our inner and outer speak would sound and feel like from that perspective?
hmmm, I wonder…
All of them are dead.
Some might say “No, both of them are dead”, but I disagree. My son’s, they promised to make me a grandmother someday, and when they died, so did the grandchildren they didn’t have.
I can tell you how my boys died, and all of the details, but it doesn’t matter how or why they died. What mattters is how they lived, how they loved, and how I loved them.
My SO was the anger at having to recreate my identity and my future. It took a long, long time, but I now understand that it wasn’t about me, or my upset. It was about them, it was about you, and it was about God.
Letting go of the so means to let go of the hurt we are sowing and begin the process of building and rebuilding, until we discover what it is that truly makes us wealthy souls.
Great article. My heart is touched reading some of the replies. I say a prayer for some of them, that they will have the breakthough they need.
For me I have great faith in God, and seek his guidance daily, and also for His devine wisdom and understanding. He always grant my
request.
Betty
I was just thinking…how many so’s did Jesus let go of for all of us to give back to us what was ours untill greed took part of our heart …and I always call advice like this the keys Jesus said he would give to Peter nothing physical …for me this is all about going back to becoming as naked as when we were born and it´s incredible to see how many things we think we will take back to our Hevenly home… this reminds me that we shall not take back home any so´s when we leave this world the things I own now shall and must de past on and I do not want to share my Junk So’s with any one… God help us all to be wiser as ever to be as free as birds and dicover in the eyes of a newly born baby the mistery of letting go … God Bless you and Thank you for all you comments they are a precious treasure full of jems.
Thank God for people like you. I am learning and when I rearead you words there is a new meaning and teaching every time. Love Diana
The moment in my life That I am the most proud of was a single day in 1993 when I gave up smoking, alcohol and also became a vegetarian, all on the same day! I am still battling, however, with my so to give up my present non-motivating job and go into full time consulting & Corporate Training. I just can’t seem to be able to let go! I feel I’m afraid of that transition period when I may not be able to make enough money until my Business picks up
The “So” is your “baggage” you are keeping or rather literally carrying – habits, fears, lack of faith, weaknesses, self-esteem – that is stopping your freedom to move on, keeping you emotionally tied up. You can’t take anything with you when you leave this world, so we need to learn to let things go and live.
Letting go of your so? What an eclectic cryptic ! I am confused on how to let go of my so. There are so many. We are a humanity of so’s! Many know, many don’t. Rely on yourself to know what your so is and do the best you can with it. Rely on God to bring you through it.
The Person who had two sons die, looks like they could win the SO competion. My SO is that it does not matter what anyone says about you or does or does not do. It is how one loves onself unconditionaly that matters. Then we can let love FLOW out.
Wow, i had it all planned what i was going to say to you.
THEN, at the beginning, i was going to say: Letting go of my “SO”, is letting go of complacent nature..
Then, after reading the other peoples words, i said it must be “fear”, Then i was sure it was EGO..
NO.. This must be “SELF HATE”,,hmmmmm. DO i mean self condamnation> .. OH I GOT IT, finally, letting go of my “SO” is the Allusion that i created to be accepted in this lifetime… ok.. WELL IT IS TIME TO SPELL IT OUT,,
LETTING GO OF MY “SO”, is learning to get allergic to my own “bull”. WHICH lies, to myself..i have held on to,, and used at my identity.
My pride, is what is my “SO”
letting go of my pride, because i know now that pride is useless, I CAN’T WEAR IT, EAT IT, OR MAKE LOVE TO IT…SO IT IS USELESS.
I have spent most of my life feeling sorry for myself, for all the bad things i experienced, and guess what i did,, some real BAD,, HORRIBLE, UNFAIR, ETC, YET, I am still above ground, and so many of the people who just wrote down their lives,, just goes to show me, WE ALL SUFFER, WE ALL CAN NOT ESCAPE BAD TIMES, WE ALL HAVE DISSAPOINTMENTS, HEARTACHES
AND FEARS,,We all are just a part of something bigger, and greater, and when we (ME) want something, or someone, we need to say so, do so, and do what it takes to reach this goal,, My laziness, along with excuses just put one big obstacle in my way,, “me”..
In reading so many testimonials today, i am so grateful to know that there are soo many wonderful, deserving awesome gifted souls, and instead of wanting to be understood,, I WANT TO UNDERSTAND,,
WOW.. I am going to go read my bible, as i have been waiting for it to open up and reveal itself to me,, When it is my job to seek..
thanks for the opportunity to be reminded of many wonderful,, people are here and they do UNDERSTAND AND THEY DO COUNT.
Every story here is so touching. Thank you all for sharing.
Letting go of my so, means to me releasing my Significant Obstacles we tend to cling to in life, the Security Objects that end up getting in our way while providing no value, the Sense of Obligation we feel for someone or something, the Stuff Obsessions are made of.
I have deep fears of not being good enough, not being able to be self sufficient – basically afraid of failure and afraid of rejection. Associated with these fears, I became responsible for making and keeping everyone happy – family members, co-workers, friends, you name it. If someone wasn’t happy, I thought it was my fault and I could and should do something to make them happy. What a huge responsibility. I finally realized I haven’t the power to make anyone but me happy and I’ve neglected me for everyone else. What a revelation!
For me, letting go of my so, is releasing my desire to control or hold on to the mistaken belief that I can be all things to all people. It is much easier said than done, but when I feel myself suffocating under the pressure of this unrealistic responsibility, I now tell myself to STOP and send out a loving thought to myself and the situation, taking myself out of the same old story line.
Thanks for the uplifting and thought provoking stories and inspirations.
The so, is all the unfinished business of life that is standing between you and your life’s destiny. It is the objectionable defenese mechanisms that keep you out of your near -land flowing with milk and honey.It is the drag coefficient of friction and gravity that holds you back from surging forth in life. It is being swallowed up in the triteness of life. It is staying stuck in the winter of one’s life. It is the false concept, image and value of a person laced in the stench of guilt, pride and shame.
Hi Michael,I thank you for the wonderful inspitational e-mails sent my way, each one has a personal touch, and I find them to be so encouraging. Here goes with my so….
My mum passed when I was 14 with cancer, she was only 42. I too was smoking at that age, and the saddest thing was, I did not believe it could or would happen to me. I married very young 18, and very pregnant. Not a good reason for marriage, but at that age you think you have all the right answers. The marriage was not good from the begining but i had two amazing children from that marriage. As they grew, so did the abuse, and one day at the age of 25,I looked at my situation, saw how important my children were to me, and realised I to could leave this world, leaving them to an abusive father.
Some where along my journey I had heard it takes approximately 10 years for the lungs to clear from smoking. So I began the proccess of stopping. I tried hypnosis, accupuncture, it stopped the cravings, but I didn’t stop reaching for that cigarete. I became disappointed in myself, at how weak I was. I then put the children and there wellbeing first, and made the decision I would succeed by the time I was 30. That gave me a good 12 years to clear my lungs before I reached 42, and I wouldn’t leave my children motherless. 4 months after I turned 30, I stopped, cold turkey, never to start again, and I have never regreted that action for the sake of my boys, who I love dearly. There have many so..”s on my journey, and lessons learnt, we need to realise what we can achieve and step out of our comfort zone.
Peace and harmony to all with lots of hugs.
I think that the SO is the little and big excuses that we give for why we are not moving forward or doing something to get what we want in life. Blaming others or holding onto the past or letting fear of the unknown stop us in our tracks.
Hello Michael,
You certainly have a way of articulating with words. It is a God given gift and thank you so kindly for touching all of US – The rest of YOU – with meaningful music that harmonizes with the rhythm of The Divine…
I remember that day in Israel, sited glued to the television hearing the sound of the Wings of History when Anuwar Sadat and Menachem Begin took a huge leap… Ah, sweet release, Peace at reach, at Last. We haven’t lost the HOPE… “HATIKVAH” (in Hebrew).
Peace, however, is an INSIDE job, and it is for each and every one of us to realize from within… Only then will we experience “the end of war” and the Peace that is beyond all understanding.
One person at a time, one small step at a time…
Life continues to flow peacefully, with Grace and Elegance. It is not “good”, it is not “bad” it just IS. The meaning we give to what IS, is how we choose to visit Heaven or Hell in each moment.
The “SO” in my experience is the direct link or bridge to our “story”. The story in our mind that robs us from our Self.
“So, what’s up?”
“So, what does that mean?”
“So, where do we go from here?” “So, What’s going on? Where does the mind take us now?”
And SO on… And SO forth…
The “so” is a GIFT. It takes us to our very own story and it provides for us the opportunity to face that story and let it go. However most of us are so identified with our stories we can’t seem to let them go because we fear we will die if we do.
So the “SO” brings us to the story and if we meet the story with love and understanding, if we welcome it, and visit with it, stay with it like with a guest or a dear friend we haven’t seen in a while, we come to realize that the story is innocent, it really wants to free itself as it frees us in the process. We come to realize that the story lets go of us, we do not have to let go of it.
It is simple and effortless. The mind wants to complicate things and create more challenges and we have a choice to meet every concept, memory, thought and story – as it comes up – with love, acceptance and understanding welcoming it fully, allowing it to be, allowing it it’s life, and through this we notice IT releases us.
Sweet Release. Peace at last… Freedom… The end of war… A mind that finds itself in the heart and can rest there, it can coast.
SO…?? Nothing… Space… quietude… emptiness…
silence… Meet me there in the Silence and BE with me as I BE with you… Swimming in the Ocean of ONENESS…
Sending you a smile,
From My Heart,
Porat
Hello Michael,
You certainly have a way of articulating with words. It is a God given gift and thank you so kindly for touching all of US – The rest of YOU – with meaningful music that harmonizes with the rhythm of The Divine…
I remember that day in Israel, sited glued to the television hearing the sound of the Wings of History when Anuwar Sadat and Menachem Begin took a huge leap… Ah, sweet release, Peace at reach, at Last. We haven’t lost the HOPE… “HATIKVAH” (in Hebrew).
Peace, however, is an INSIDE job, and it is for each and every one of us to realize from within… Only then will we experience “the end of war” and the Peace that is beyond all understanding.
One person at a time, one small step at a time…
Life continues to flow peacefully, with Grace and Elegance. It is not “good”, it is not “bad” it just IS. The meaning we give to what IS, is how we choose to visit Heaven or Hell in each moment.
The “SO” in my experience is the direct link or bridge to our “story”. The story in our mind that robs us from our Self.
“So, what’s up?”
“So, what does that mean?”
“So, where do we go from here?” “So, What’s going on? Where does the mind take us now?”
And SO on… And SO forth…
The “so” is a GIFT. It takes us to our very own story and it provides for us the opportunity to face that story and let it go. However most of us are so identified with our stories we can’t seem to let them go because we fear we will die if we do.
So the “SO” brings us to the story and if we meet the story with love and understanding, if we welcome it, and visit with it, stay with it like with a guest or a dear friend we haven’t seen in a while, we come to realize that the story is innocent, it really wants to free itself as it frees us in the process. We come to realize that the story lets go of us, we do not have to let go of it.
It is simple and effortless. The mind wants to complicate things and create more challenges and we have a choice to meet every concept, memory, thought and story – as it comes up – with love, acceptance and understanding welcoming it fully, allowing it to be, allowing it it’s life, and through this we notice IT releases us.
Sweet Release. Peace at last… Freedom… The end of war… A mind that finds itself in the heart and can rest there, it can coast.
SO…?? Nothing… Space… quietude… emptiness…
silence… Meet me there in the Silence and BE with me as I BE with you… Swimming in the Ocean of ONENESS…
Sending you a smile,
From My Heart,
Porat
‘How to let go of your So’.
My answer is So refers to Sorrow i.e ‘How to let go of your Sorrow’
as all the things/people that hold us back are cause of our sorrows.
Dear Mike,
I’m sorry, I can’t answer your question, but let me tell you that I would like to let go of my ambition to be a good step mother. My experiences with my step children make me decide to let go my ambition to be a good step mother, and just to be myself, a wife of their father but not their mother, only maybe their new friend ! 🙂 I feel better now. Thank you so much, Mike ! May God Bless you !
Thanks so much for everyone who is contributing to this topic.
I’ve been thinking about what could possibly be meant by the phrase “How to Let Go of Your So.” This little word changes so much, according to its context.
‘So’ can be an expression of quantity, emphasising a positive or negative quality, for example ‘he or she is so loving, so clever, so witty, so compassionate, so beautiful etc, or, he or she is so difficult, so obstinate, so violent, so nasty so selfish, so angry, so stupid, so lazy so greedy, so untidy etc.
‘So’ then becomes a type of comparison word like ‘extremely’.
Perhaps, if one of our positive or negative qualities or attitudes is acting as a barrier to others and making life difficult in some way, we could become sensitive and observe what’s happening and perhaps let go of our ‘so…..’.
Then we could ‘level the playing field’, be ‘as one’, ‘make peace’ or ”calm the waters’ and perhaps not be so opinionated, so judgemental, so disapproving so short-sighted, so conceited, so selfish, so indifferent….or whatever?
Maybe we could let go of our critical natures which habitually accuse someone, or ourselves, of being so….’whatever’.
Sometimes our opinions of ourselves and others seem to trap us and limit our capacity to ‘enjoy every moment’ Live life to the full’, ‘live and let live’, ‘savour the moment’ or’forgive and forget’, etc.
Our emotional reactions and judgements, jealousies, hurts and criticisms can create barriers and add to life challenges rather than soothing, solving and dissolving them.
We also have the saying that ‘we will only give SO much’, which is a limiting phrase. When it comes to our choices we often say to ourselves ‘I will only give SO much and no more’ or ‘There is only so much I can do!’
Perhaps by adjusting or letting go of that ‘so’ we may become more understanding or caring or perhaps we could contribute a little more to our community. We would then be helping ourselves and each other to cope with and solve our individual and collective challenges?
I trust that, as we let go of what we feel is holding us back, a new outlook and fresh start will ‘become so’ for all.
It is interesting process dealing with big life changes such as a change of job, a divorce or a death in the family which requires a change of location for a home or business. Then, if we feel we have to ‘have a clean up’ and move or deal with every item, we can decide that personal archives, collections, relics, mementos or heirlooms are somehow past their ‘use by’ date or are so much rubbish and are ‘holding us back’ in some way.
How many people have discarded various formerly treasured items in haste, only to wish later that they had made a more considered decision?
It is sometimes hard for one person to respect the value that memories, beliefs, habits, behaviors or items may hold for another person.
We could instead perhaps use our discretion and choose to retain, restore or recycle these items which remind us of our past or a loved one so that they can be so perhaps a future generation may get joy from them, even though they may be thought to be SO old or irrelevant.
How often have we seen one man’s trash become another’s treasure or one person’s treasure become someone else’s trash?
When we each leave this world we will be letting go of and leaving behind all we have held and touched in some way whether in the tangible or intangible sense.
The art of living seems sometimes like a piece of music which starts from silence, builds into a series of rhythms with highs ad lows, then reaches the final note, before returning to silence.
Letting go of one moment as we slide into another and so on and so on ..breath by breath, heart beat by heart beat is a human life’s natural journey through time.
‘So’ is like our ‘out’ breath which we each automatically and naturally let go, out into the universe, one by one….moment by moment.
How priceless that gift of each breath is.
Many great teachers have suggested that focusing on and valuing each breath is a soothing and healing
action which can bring us to a state of greater peace.
This key is literally right under our noses yet we take this gift of the breath of life so much for granted.
In our lives we each greatly benefit from ‘taking a deep breath’ which then requires letting it go .. producing the soothing and peaceful effect.
So… life goes on…
Reading through the post I find that people in general have endless burdens and problems. Each and every problem we have in our lives is of our own making. It’s easy to blame others for the things that make us feel sad, angry, hurt, etc, but in reality we are accepting these things. Once we decide not to, we have the potential to change our lives. The “So” therefore is letting go of the things that make our life miserable or that burden our existence. The So is finding the stregth to take that first step.
For years I felt myself divided in half. Having been born and raised in Canada, my move abroad and away from my family made me feel completely homesick. I was never living in the present moment but I kept thinking of my past life. Instead of being in the here and now and living in the present, I was pondering my past. After 24 years I have made peace with my life. I finally realized that just because I’m living abroad doesn’t mean I have to forget my family or friends who are living faraway. But I have to live in the present, not the past or the future. Tomorrow will take care of itself, but we have to be ready today to handle the future. Sooo, letting go of certain things in our lives, whether they are thoughts, feelings, habits or objects, we allow ourselves to open up and to receive the gifts that the world has to offer and which we all are entitled to receive.
Letting go of your so……
The reference to Carter, Anwar Sadat and Menachim got me thinking that yes it is easy as a couple of kids, children have the ability to let go right away, dream big until they are told they cannot do a specific thing (by adults)Children are the major manifesters, they have not fed a “SO” to let go of, they are carefree, living in the moment no need for a paradigm shift there. SO is something that keeps you from moving forward, beit a fear, lack of confidence, maybe a “security blanket” the past is the past you can’t live for the future or even the moment if you are hanging on to the past …let the SO go 😉
My husband died nine years ago. He was the most wonderful man I ever met. Then suddenly, he was gone. He died in a car crash that almost killed me too. He has been my “So” all these years. Since my husband’s death, I have not been able to let go of ‘him’ so to speak. I have not had a relationship with any man. I ‘believe’ that there is no man out there that can measure up to him, and none that can love me like he did.
Michael, I am now forty years old. My kids are growing up and will soon start to leave home. I am afraid that I shall soon be left all alone. I would love to let go and move on. I just don’t know how. I fear that I will be alone in my old age when all my children will have left home.
My “So” is my biggest challenge. Michael, please help me let go.
Thank you.
Dear Michael,
I have a feeling that I may know what you mean by “letting go of your so…”. Twenty years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer and was given 6 months to live. I was blessed to survive it – truly. But the result of the treatments left me with an extremely difficult health problem. You see, in order to get rid of the tumor, my intestine was burned by the radiation. Now – this is a very trying problem for anyone to deal with, but the fact that I’m a musical theatre actress makes the problem even MORE debilitating. Performers need to be in top physical condition. It would have been very understandable, in a way, for me to give up my dream and my career. I went through a time when I told myself that I just wasn’t healthy enough to go through the rigors of auditioning, rehearsing, and performing. But then I kept getting cast in wonderful shows! I had the realization that I’m really good at what I do, and I love it with all my heart – SO – what was the problem? I let go of the “conventional” wisdom of “you’re not healthy enough to be a successful actress – SO you ought to leave this dream behind.” Is that it, Michael? Is that the “so”? Is it the “thing” we tell ourselves, (or maybe the world tells us) so that we can’t/won’t achieve what we really, truly want, and are destined to do? Am I close?
Anyway – thank you for this amazing work you do, and for sharing so much of your life and realizations. I’ve been a caregiver to my mom who also suffers from Alzheimer’s. Your writing and sharing about that was heart-rending and powerful! It kept me going in the days when I was up round-the-clock with her. (I know you know what I mean by that! Whew! Those old girls can have the most astounding energy, no?) She is in a lovely nursing home, at this point. (She’s 142 lbs. to my 97! I just could not physically do it anymore…But – I’m with her every day…) Your writing about that time in your life was such a gift to me, and to all of us. Thank you so much!
Wishing you abundant blessings, Michael! Rose
Hi Michael,
It appears you’ve touched on, yet another, very powerful, thought- provoking, and inspiring topic.
I’ve loved reading everyone’s postings. Thank you to everyone for sharing your thoughts, ideas, dreams, fears, and stories. You are all inspiring!
I think your SO is your Same Old….
Same Old Beliefs, Thoughts, Habits, Excuses, Things. Those Same Old things that you have been holding onto, and those Same Old things that you believe have been holding you back.
As I read the postings, I quickly realized that everyone has “a story”(including myself). My story is my badge that I silently wear as I move around the world. It brings me a false sense of safety and comfort, as well as permission to stay in my SO – small and limited. I’m ready to turn in my old, worn-out, over-used, rusty badge for a brand new shiny one.
The beauty of reading other’s stories is that I can recognize myself in almost every one of them, even if the circumstances are different. I see we all have our badges. I can also cheer for you, Michael, and the othrs who have posted for their wins, or minimally, their desires to win… if they can win, I can win, too. Woo Hoo for all of us! We can all be victorious.
This year, I’m giving up many SOs, in order to embrace my MO (moving on). It’s a message that I have received many times, in many forms, since this new year began, which was why I had to chuckle when I got your latest newsletter.
In order to do this, I’m going to truly learn to accept and forgive – that is, accept responsibility for where and who I am, and give up the hope that my past relationship, career, health, and finances would have been different. I think it’s the only way to get rid of my “badge”. I know if I can do this, then the big me who’s been hiding inside, the real me, will be free to risk and shine, perhaps a little scared at times, but nonetheless, willing to immerse.
I’m going to trade in my SO for NO(new options) and embrace the process every step of the way, knowing that whatever happens, I will be guided and supported by God and the universe. I am confident that I will be happier GO-ing for my NO than I am living with my SO. This is the year I create and begin to wear my new badge! I’m SOOOOO ready!
Thanks for everything, Michael! I wish you many blessings, a little luck, and a lot of love as you MO and NO your way out of SO!
((Hugs)),
Nancy
Hi Michael,
Let go of my so?
I wrote 2 pages at work last night during lunch.
For 5 years now I have been on a quest, a journey to succeed and find fulfillment.
It was the culmination of emerging from some physical,emotional,mental and spiritual issues. Some were external and others were my own doing.
I’ve entered into a running dialogue with my “still” small voice that has become insistent and not so still.
The voice and I are doing an analysis of my life and how to gain control of it and bring harmony.
The voice tells me that I am enthused, excited and ready to act,but then nothing.
So,it says “What is going on?”
I reply,’I don’t know.”
“Ah,but you do.” You have finally acknowledged your knowledge and gifts that others,especially your Creator have told you that you posess. What you create is good.”
“You have sought out your Soul Purpose and have written a Dream Vision. You desire to change the path you’re on and create a new one.” So, why do you return to the former path of nowhere,rather than explore the path of somewhere? I don’t know won’t cut it.”
“We have worked hard together. You tell me you want change and I believe you. I encourage and urge you and suggest that you use the tools you have acquired on this journey. Your experiences have brought character and wisdom and forged your uniqueness.
So,why are you hesitant?”
‘I am afraid.’
“Afraid of what? Your mother once told you more than once that you never let anything keep you down for long. You have a strong,resilient spirit. Your imaginative mind has enabled you to accomplish more than you give yourself credit for.
“So, why have you stopped? I am deliberately backing you into a corner so you will engage your heart feelings. You say you want your spirit to soar like an eagle.
Your dream vision has a glowing sphere on the other side of a canyon.To reach the other side you must cross a bridge. Waiting in the canyon below are the “pit” bull voices of the past. Hurt,pain,anger,fear,procrastination(a real biggy) and scores more.
I sometimes get hoarse trying to talk above them.
So,what is keeping you from crossing the bridge? If you are afraid of the bridge breaking,then find another way across. Get creative!”
Creativity doesn’t care about the impossible,but the possible.
It seeks out fun,laughter,joy,peace,passion.
It listens sees,hears,breathes,walks,runs,might even fly. It is the best in all of us because by creating we get closer to the mind and heart of God. We all have differing gifts of creativity.
‘I get it. I have spent the last 5 years visiting websites,reading books and articles about success,attending teleseminars,downloading recordings,etc. I know I must get involved with the internet and really embrace its potential.
I want to write books,do blogs,speak at seminars,etc.
To leave my comfort zone and take the kind of risks that I fear.
I have learned that once I make up my mind what I really want to do and focus, the universe will mount opposition.
The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul rekindled my passion for reading which had dwindled. From all of these resources and your searing interrogation I have learned I fear success as much as I do failure.’
“So, how will you accomplish this?”
‘I”ll have to become an eagle and fly over the canyon’
“So,that means you’ll have to leave the nest. You can do it.”
I’ll help you to use your experience,wisdom,creativity and whatever else it takes to do it.”
We’re in this together and there are many others ready and willing to help. You must ask. People don’t read minds.”
I believe my “so” is self-obsession. My obsessions includes ex-wives, letting go of my idea of becoming a famous singer and artist, and letting go of the “outcome” of my Parkinson’s Disease.
So, that’s it.
Michael
My so, is the pause, the hesitation, wanting to hang on which keeps me in a loop pattern that I need to be out of. Caught between hanging on and letting go is the resistance. I should flip a coin for I know the moment it is in the air, the answer is obvious…for a moment, before I start rationalizing once again.
Hi Michael,
I’ll try again:
I think you mean by “letting go of your so” that it is what we build in our minds as the grand disabling reasoning not to do what we know we should, or not to go or not to say. We let fear of various imagined, and usually way bigger than they really are things, keep us from taking the next usually very simple step.
It is the thing that stops us and of causes us to self-sabotage.
The definition of fear (false evidence appearing real) might be a good way to explain it. All this great drama is created in our minds by our self talk, which has been developed by upbringing, environment, etc. and which creates the living dead.
Been there, done that, and am working very hard to undo all the negative trash I have allowed to take root. And the most amazing thing is I am a very positive person, a great encourager to all by myself. Past tense, by the way! Thank God!
Sincerely yours,
Mary Ann
Letting go of my So
When I came to this place, I had a lot of expectations from myself, my people, and others, but I was soon disappointed because I expected people to be the way I wanted them to be. I was not able to accept things around me. My ‘letting go of my so’ would be to accept things as they come, make peace with my past and look forward in confidence towards my future.
How to let go of your SOUL Searching, To find the way To Let Go And Let God.
Michael,
The stories sent in by everyone have been wonderful to read and I found that I could relate to many of them. And I think it is possible to have more than one thing or “So” to let go of. At least I find that I have more than one specific thing I need to let go of. I believe that true happiness and peace is probably attained after removing anything that stands as a tower in the pathway to attaining them. It could be expectations of others or yourself,excuses,unforgiveness, anger, past mistakes, self-esteem, hurts, ego, fear, a conduct or opinion,emotional baggage and so many more. As seen in all the stories, there are a miriad of reasons to stay stuck where you are instead of moving on to health and happiness. What have you to lose by trying? Why is it so hard? I believe in God and yet still find myself caught trying to overcome this letting go. I cannot explain it but it is so strong and powerful. I can only continue to place my strength and hope in Christ until He gives me the strength to overcome. I look forward to your explanation and wisdom on the topic of letting go. Thanks for the avenue to talk about it.
Letting go of the So could be as simple as answering it?
The story we construct to allow us to stay as we are. I would do x but it is so…I will do x when it is not so…. I would ask but he/she is so…. We need to change it to ‘Too’ test if it’s true and if not get on with it.
eg- It’s so hard to exercise daily could be Is it TOO hard to exercise daily? Somehow the subtle difference shows we have a choice. Lots of people have the same challenges, not all are limited by them.
So hard is a challenge but overcomeable, too hard is a giving up, an acceptance of failure without making any attempt. I think if we can answer is it too… then the next step is to accept, I can I must, I shall and I’ll be soooooo relieved, healthy, happy, successful etc when I do. So is so much more hopeful than too because it allows for possibility. Too is a shut door, so is an invitation to consider alternative possibility. Let go of the soxxx and make it SO.
My comments have appeared above as written by Vickie,
Pamela
How to let go of my SO. So when some people do not treat me very well saying things and ignoring me. Trying to push my buttons. In the past it worked, but I realize now that they are ony hurting themselves. {Running on ego } SOOOO it does not matter anymore what people say, or do. Regards. Pearl.
So why would it take so long to do the right thing and donate to charity – which truly was not the case since you sold to antique dealers? It would have been much quicker, less costly,less heart-rendering and less demeaning AND more rewarding to envision someone discovering a ‘treasure’ in a 2nd hand store.
Attachments to material objects take away from the true essence of life – relationships! Keep a picture of your mom to go along with your final memories of her and gaze upon it often as you pursue your own dreams.
So, dump the baggage, free your soul and dream to have the same impact on others that your mother left with you. Extrapolate it to thousands via your newsletter format and make this world better one reader at a time. Allow this connection with their own inner self to be facilitated with your own experience and have them transfer it to thousands themselves. All the time be remembering a quote by Henry James “A teacher affects eternity, he can never tell where his influence stops.”
So, make a difference and continue your efforts – good job!
JS
First notice that it’s in you’r body and you’r thaught and do not hold on to it. The ego trip want to hold you and stay in you’r thaught by noticing it s there accept and le go it doen’t belong to me..
Let go and let GOD to be beautyful withing you.
Our SO’s are roadblocks or bumps in the road. We can’t be successful with these in the way. They hold us back. We have to fight the blocks or bumps and struggle through them. Some don’t have the fight. Some struggle continually to get to where they want to be.
Our SO’s…
Guilt
Procrastination
Self Doubt
Criticism
Dread
Fear of failure
Lack of energy
Time
and the list goes on.
Gods blessings to all who can’t, can, and want to let go of thier SO!
letting go… of So…
control… ego… offering everything to a higher being… GOD!!! PUSH through Pray Until Something Happens!!!
connections to every earthly thing
Wow, sometimes the simpliest of questions can be the most difficult to address. First off, to answer your question of what I think “so” is well… I think the “so” you may be referring to is whatever it is that is stopping someone from getting it done and moving forward w/o regret. It’s letting go of the hangup(s) that are in the way by changing them from obstacles, into hurdles, that we can and must overcome. Once overcome it is almost like our personal trophy. We did it! We can make it! It is now a positive learning experience.
For me – well – the list is long and I need to tackle them one at a time. I believe in finding the good / positive outlook for any given circumstance. Even the ones that I do not understand or like. It has become increasingly difficult to do. There is so much that it is hard to believe. So I keep it in and don’t share with new people in my life. Those that do know, also are aware that I am hard to get to know deeper because of it. Fear is a powerful thing. I’m working on it. Maybe I should write a book about it all.It could be catharsic. LOL
Letting go of your so. Unfortunately, I have just been plunged into being forced to do just this. I have been in a wonderful live-in relationship for 4 years with a wonderful man and we were married just this past May in a beautiful sunset wedding on the beach. It couldn’t have been any more perfect. I love this man more than I thought possible. I have finally found where I belong and fit in. I also have a good job as an administrator at an civil engineering firm. Now, you are asking yourself, so, what’s the problem?
Well, I have recently found out that during the entire length of our relationship, he was having an affair. I discovered some text messages on his phone and called the woman. Of course, he claims it didn’t mean anything and it was just because she could give him what he needed sexually when he got bored at home. I was devastated but talked to his family and friends to find out if they knew about his double life and how can I make this work. Everyone was completely shocked and disappointed because as they all said “There’s no way – that’s not who he is – he loves you” He began doing the silent treatment then disappeared one weekend, leaving me a note stating that he had to go “think about his life, job and our relationship”. When he returned, there were no answers. A couple weeks later, I ended up having a meltdown which consisted of vomiting until I vomited blood, hyperventilating, crying from the deepest part of my soul and collapsing on the floor. He picked me up and carried me to the bed where he proceeded to rub my back to calm me down. After about a half hour, a sudden calmness came over me and I was able to turn to him as ask why has he done this to us. We have had a great life together, enjoy the same things and are perfect for each other. He agreed, but said that he needed more time to think about it.
Valentine’s Day arrives. I give him a card & candy, prepare a nice meal with wine and candlelight. He claims he forgot all about it. I did my best not to let it get to me and later convinced him to join me in the hot tub. For the first time in many months, we made love. As badly as I wanted that connection, I could tell that it was only his body that was present. Afterwards, I asked him “This is over isn’t it?” He hugged me and told me that he didn’t want it to be, but didn’t want to hurt me anymore and went on to explain that he knows that the next time he gets bored and restless, he will again go find someone else, and he would prefer to be single, have no responsibilities, no accountability, not have to worry about his conscience and just be able to live in the moment. He has also decided that until the divorce is final, he will leave on the weekends “to prevent awkwardness”. But he still really loves me and hates that this is happening.
As if all this isn’t enough, I approached my boss to let him know what is happening and to find out what my status is in this company. You see, because of the slow economy, business is going downhill quickly and he has already laid off a couple people, we are going to have to downsize the office, etc. He stated that at this time all he can tell me is that I will have a job until the 1st of April, then it will either be me or one other person, perhaps both to be laid off.
Therefore, I am being forced to let go of my SO. I have to choose between staying in this area, where I will possibly run into my beloved, have the uncertainty of job security, but I will be around all the people who love and support me.
Or, do I just let it all go and start over completely somewhere else? I have no idea where I will go or if I will be able to find a job in these hard times. I feel so lost and alone.
I believe that this “Letting go of your So” is just that. Let go and let God, The Universe, The higher you, whatever you believe in take over and guide you to where you need to be. To have complete faith that when you let go and begin to freefall, that everything will come together and provide what you need at that time and it will be just fine. Probably better than fine. I know this in my heart, but putting it into practice while your entire world it crumbling around you is difficult. In the end, you have no choice, just let go.
Let go of your so.., soap opera, that story that we all repeat over and over again, to ourselves and to anyone else that will listen or pretend to listen, that story that proves that we are right, soooooooo right!!
Sorrow, solace and solitude also come to mind.
So = Sentimental objects.
Where to start…
Ah yes, the so…
so what are you going to do about your ever expanding horizon?
The so is the bridge you cross to
expansion, to your new depth, to step into your increased love and understanding.
Realizing your oneness with all that there is allows you to put the moment to moment on automatic.
So what’s next??
So I am in charge as co-creator.
Act!
My SO… had been keeping me from completing my PhD. Sooo…two months ago, I re-enrolled in school. It will take me 15 months to complete the goal that I set over twenty years ago.
My other SO… has been keeping me from starting a business. So what if I fail? So what if I don’t get enough clients? So what if… The nagging doubts and fears have kept me from starting.
BUT What if…I succeed? It’s my life, my goals, my desires. I’m starting “a positive SO” So..why not try it? Why shouldn’t I expect to be successful? I can be succeed in life! SO, I’m going for it!
Jan
letting go or “so”
meaning lwtting go of your “so” what !!!
I have this nagging “feeling” that my “SO” is a lesson I am yet to learn.
My 17-year-old son crossed over 2 years, 8 months ago. What continues to nag me, are the flashes of the many either missed or intercepted synchronicities within the down hill, spiraling whirlwind that occurred in months before my son’s crossing.
I’m confident that once I settle with “what am I to learn from this” my SO will go.
“Letting Go Of My So” simply means “so what?” It’s the understanding that most if not all of the stuff we hang onto is useless, and requires more energy to “hang onto it” – than to let go of it…whatever it is. Kind of like a bag of rocks – we discover we are carrying for years only to realize that 1)we don’t use them 2)they are heavy and 3)dropping that bag of rocks sure feels GOOD! And at the moment of dropping (letting go) that bag of rocks (of our So) we discover how FREE we are to move, in any direction and at any speed! Making our goals/dreams/aspirations that much easier to accomplish! Energizing and inspiring us! How wonderful an experience this truly is! I have a new Mantra, “Let Go Of My So and watch me GROW!” Here I GROW again! Thanks Michael! Thanks for sharing how you “Let Go of Your SO”.
In Love, Gratitude & Abundance!
Most Sincerely
Christina
MOVE FORWARD AND DON’T LOOK BACK FOR FREEING YOURSELF UP ALLOWS NEW LOVE AND ENERGY TO FLOW IN YOUR LIFE AND HEART THAT IS WHEN TRANSFORMATION BEGINS IN YOUR LIFE. IT ISN’T GOING TO BE EASY AND GIVING UP THE SO IS PAINFUL BUT IN DOING SO THAT PAIN WILL TURN TO JOY AND THE MAGIC OF LIFE WILL UNFOLD. TO EVERYONE OUT THERE JUST BELIEVE AND HAVE FAITH AND HOPE AND YOU WILL TRULY BE IN A GOOD PLACE THAT YOU NEED TO BE. JUST REMEMBER WE ARE ONLY PASSING THROUGH THIS LIFE AND THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF. THAT IS THE MAGIC IN YOUR LIFE AND DO NOT LET ANYONE TAKE THAT FROM YOU. PEOPLE CAN TAKE ALL YOUR WORLDLY POSSESSIONS BUT THEY CAN’T TAKE YOUR SOUL.
GODS BLESSING SHINES DOWN ON EVERY HUMAN BEING. REMEMBER YOU ARE TRULY LOVED BY YOUR CREATOR AND THE PRICE HAS ALREADY BEEN PAID AT THE CROSS. RELEASE THE SO AND GIVE
IT TO CHRIST HE ALREADY DID THE SUFFERING FOR US. LOOK TOWARD THE
HEAVENS, YOUR SO HAS BEEN PAID FOR
NOW MOVE FORWARD AND TRUST IN
HIM YOUR SAVIOR.
YOU ARE TRULY BLESSED
GLORIA
Dear Michael,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all – it is a wonderful way of helping us see our own lives from the outside, so to speak, and put everything into perspective.
My father has not read a book for decades but somehow I got the idea of getting him your Wealthy Soul book for Christmas and… yes, he read it (without any prompting from me) and loved it. Thank you so much – he really enjoyed the story about you and your father (funnily enough, I thought it would be the stock market stuff that might interest him).
I have a request, a tall order, to make of you Michael – would you please write a book about your experiences with your mother…
There are so many millions of people around the world struggling with how to relate to people with Alzheimer’s and you are the very first one I have ever heard talking about the joy of it, letting go of attachment to the physical side of life.
Who knows, maybe the time is right and you are moving to Sedona to write just such a book?!
Whether or not you get the urge to put pen to paper, may I wish you fun and the best of success with all your ventures and your new life and thank you for all the joy and healing ‘Wealthy Soul’ brought my father.
😀
Cynthia
How to let go of your So… This is indeed a very great and big question to ponder and one has to examine ones life to the core. Strangely enough, the answer is right in front of us all, we just do not have the wisdom, insight and courage to see it and then do it. Just let go of all the dirty baggage. Problem is we have to realize that we can’t do it in our selves in the situation we are in. In my opinion, we first have to ralize who we really are. We are all God’s children made in His image. So, He made us and He also left us a user manual, His word, the Bible. It has all the instructions how to live and what to do. But man over the centuries, instead of following His word, followed his own way guided in many cases by God’s rival, Satan. Yes, he too is very much alive and has created havoc with us humans for a long, long time now. He, and one third of the fallen angels with him, are the real problem in this world. So…when we really want to let go of our So, we first have to repent and then change, do some house cleaning. Then follow God’s directions. He truly has made it possible for us to win through the blood of His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. He paid the price for us,just as He said: “I am the way, the truth and the life and no one comes to my Father but through me” What a promise! Therefore, He alone is in the position to help us out of all our delima, our hurts, our many mistakes. We can be free of it all, giving it to him. That’s how we all can let go of our “SO”! It all starts with us, we have to have the willingness to change first of all and not be selfish, self-centered and greedy. God made such a beautiful place for us to live in and there is plenty of everything for each one of us. There is so much for us to learn and to experience, and when we go by God’s rules and His way, there are then no problems. We all want to be happy and have all kinds of things, and that is o.k., as long as those things don’t have us. Finding a constance in all situations is being the same in loss and in gain, in love and in hate, in peace and in war. Life can have some severe rough spots, but when we have found that constance,we can get through it all, high or low, up and down, light and dark, happy or sad, rich or poor….it just doesn’t matter, because as a true child of God, you are a winner, no matter what! Another secret, once you have found your way back to God, your Father, it is His good pleasure to give you what you need.
My Father preached the ‘power of positive thinking’. As a child I remember him reading that book from cover to cover and making notes to remind himself, on a daily basis, how to make his mind a better place to live in. My Father died of cancer about five years ago. He never really achieved any of the great positive things he had struggled to create in his life. In fact my Father was a victim of his own deep down belief that things never work out the way you want them to.
Like many people from my parents era,he had endured the War and was raised on the assumption that good hard work leads to financial stability and fulfillment. My Father’s attempted forward thinking was being challenged at every turn with that small voice of contradiction.
That is what I fight too. We all do.
I’ve recently endured numerous challenging situations in my life and whilst trying to smile and positive think my way through them, the ego kept saying ‘get real’.
I have been a ‘victim’ of the recent writer’s strike and have sought alternative employment as a means to an end. Soul destroying when you realise you are ill prepared for other work outside of an industry you have been working in for almost twenty years.
I applied for a job out of my depth. I was embellishing my self worth and skills. A phrase came to my mind….So what?
Right,So what? I was applying for a job I had no skills for and more importantly none of the interest required either.
I was compromising my happiness for a paycheck. Sure money is great and gives you all the freedom you need but, a task you carry out for eight hours a day should include some joy. If my employer said to me ‘this isn’t for you’ I may have still said ‘So?’ So what?
Trying new things is great. Denying your self of your true happiness and turning away from what you truly want to do for fear you can’t really do it,that’s just insanity. We all know deep down what we want.We just don’t always believe we can get it. The ego has spoken. (I said so!)
Getting a job is not the answer,getting a life,the life I want,is. Desperation creates more desperation. My greatest successes have come from out of the blue. Unexpected.
Needless to say I didn’t apply and things are now turning around. I told my ego to shut up and acknowledge there is a small voice, and I talk over it.
It is wonderful that a person of such profound love can inspire other humans. Great article!
Answer!
To release the nine emotions of the mind.
So, I’m on the right track, I’ve not reached the station yet but headed in that direction. To Continue!
Yes, I have been doing what you have talked about for years. I at one time had 20 suits and jackets, 50 shirts, 100 ties, 10 pairs of shoes, etc. I had 1,000 books in a library.
Today I have one or two small plastic tubs at a friend’s home and several suitcases. I carry with me one over shoulder bag, one expandable canvas bag, two briefcases, one small bag with CDs, and one leather backback. That’s it!
I have committed to NEVER live in a home of my own until all 7,000,000 homes for the homeless are built in the next 7 years.
So I’m a wandering cured packrat that LOVES my life and what little possessions I have!
This is a story that I can relate to as I lost my father in 2002 and although I spent an entire summer going through his pssesions with two of my siblings and their mates
I found each piece a treasure. My father grew up during the depression and was the biggest pack rat I have ever known. We had a load that went to the dump, a load that went to recycling and a load that would be either donated or kept. It was over 44 tons of different metals to recycling as my father once rebuilt washer and dryers. One room in his 5 bedroom home with 6 car garage was filled to the top with mtors and such. My sister was executive to estate and kept most valuables which I let go as it wasn’t worth the fight for materialistic “stuff”. Now my little two bedroom trailer is filled with my fathers books. I have had collectors come and inspect them but the offers seemed too low to let go of my father’s treasures. I believe we fear that we are letting down our parents or maybe even letting go of our past or maybe the relationship that we treasured, thinking that our memories are somehow attached to these material things. I know my father is within me in my heart but find it so difficult to release these books that are mostly WWII books and my siblings and my school books…very outdated
history books. Maybe I find security in having these books lining the walls of my home as my father was truly the man in my life.
Hi Michael, it is a nice and inspiring story.
For me to let go of my so, was when I “had” to emigrate for the third time in my life, once from my birthland to the country where I met my husband, after 16 years back to my own homeland with husband and 3 kids, and after 5 years back to his homeland, now one and a half years ago. That wasn’t easy, even though it was forth and back, and each time was a choice not out of force. Though the last time it felt to me that I was actually sacrificing my life to please him, to make things easy for him, and the most frustrating of all because he was bringing in the money, so there was not much I could say about it except that I didn’t like it that much. I had a lot of thoughts about culture, belonging, feeling at home, comparing to being a stranger, seperated etc. I had to let go of this feeling of being the one who is (always) making all the sacrifices, and I started to deliberately create the feeling that I can feel at home here as easily as in my own homeland. Wow, there came all the beliefs that told me I couldn’t, or shouldn’t or wouldn’t, I really had a case going on. And in the end it all came down to one thing: I didn’t want him to be the one who was winning the game. I needed to hold on to something that made me right. That same thing of course was holding me back to live life to the fullest.
To me it seems that if you start asking me WHY I hold on, I will give you all my reasons or excuses, then you can say, “So……” and I will give more reasons, you will ask me “So….” and so on, until my “story” is draining out and there is nothing left for me to say but “I don’t know!!!!” And that will be the moment of liberation, that there is actually no reason to hold on. That’s the very same moment I can choose to change my point of view.
Good luck!!
Greetings.
I am very late coming here. I have considered what ‘so’ could be. At first I was thinking it had to be ‘so’ul b/c of the egoistic tendencies involved. Then I pondered that there are many definitions of ‘soul’ and I don’t believe you can really let go of your ‘so’ when used as ‘soul’.
I read Dr. Norwood’s last article about the furniture and I can relate. I have an antique tea tray set that I paid $100 for at a second hand store. I didn’t want to use them for fear of ruining their beauty and luster. I am assuming more than the material trays there is some emotion or experience tied to why I protected these tea trays. They provided ‘solace’ for me. They tied me to a place in time where I was comfortable. The comfort may have been good for me then, but is it good for me now? If the object of ‘solace’ inhibits personal growth, it would be necessary to let go of that ‘so’lace lest we get trapped in a vicious cycle of a pseudo conscious state. It is proven that people can’t operate with one foot in the conscious and the other in the subconscious. So, it seems we must find ‘so’lace in the present in order to experience our Divine purpose here and never operate out of default through roots in our established comfort zones, or ‘so’lace. What has been has already made us into what we are. My mom always reminded me of the ‘Sodom and Gomorrah’ story. She always said, ‘never look back’. When I was little, I thought I would really turn into a pillar of salt.
About the tea trays. Well, this piece of ‘so’lace has been divided up with two pieces facing harsh weather conditions outside in my boys clubhouse. I found them months later broken and water stained. I subdued the anger and realized it was the false sense of security or ‘so’lace deprived that fanned the flames sooner than the tangible tea trays. So, I laughed and told the boys to get their tools out. We will sand the tops of the trays and velcro a small pillow to the bottom of the frame and turn them into lap desks just especially for them. I told them they could paint them or decorate them however they wanted. One of the tea trays is under this computer monitor as I type this and the last one is holding up the television. Now, they are specifically used for utility purposes only. I have let go of my ‘so’. I know this is not dramatic like some of the stories written here, but the feelings connected with the tea trays are about the same. I say to bless every situation/object as it is coming and even more so as it is going for in it we find true ‘solace’ in blessing and letting go. Guess what! When my boys finish working on these lap desks/tea trays, they will have to do the same as I did. They will have to one day let go of the ‘so’lace these trays offer them in the many years to come.
Shalom!
Letting go of the analyzing, letting go of the drama.
And so….
When I look I see myself standing naked before the Divine and there are still many questions that arise.
I feel that I am on the brink of discovering what it is that I must do next.
But still the answers elude me.
Why is this so?
I am wide open to go in whatever direction the Divine wills me to go.
Again I am brought to tears. They flow out of nowhere. They come for no apparent reason. This I do not understand. I need to know why my life is lived in the way I have lived it. Oh the sense. The senseless.
I need to know why I chose so much pain. So much suffering.
I need to know if I get to share the Love I am gifted with….with another in the most intimate way possible.
I know right now that to be of service to all I am gifted to know is what makes sense.
And so again I sit still and listen to the silence and patiently wait for the answers to come.
Could someone else come to help me find the answers to these questions that I have.
I cry out and I ask the Divine to answer my questions in whatever way I can gently receive them.
I ask that I stop now analyzing and dramatizing every little aspect that comes into my life. I ask that the healing of my mind, body and soul come to me and allow me to accetp who it is I am.
I sit and observe all that surrounds me.
I was told last night to allow another to lie to me. And so when I am gifted to witness what this means I see that there are no absolutes in life. There are not always immediate answers to questions that arise. I learn how to be in the gray area of life. It is not always black. It is not always white. I begin to let the rigidness of how I lived my life to lift and I learn how to stop asking so many questions. I allow myself to receive what is gifted to me in the moment the rest I let go until it is time for more to bw revealed to me. I Trust. I let myself Be.
Good luck on your drive to Sedona,
I live in Phoenix. After reading your article I finally get my “so”, it is not my house,or my possesions it is the emotional baggage that is no longer serving me…wow…powerful!
I let go of my so when I decided to live an unconditional life. I let go of all the reasons why I love my Self. Now when I love it’s because I choose to come from that place inside me (the source of my Being) the heart of my LOVE center, for no reason at all. I forgive the same way and I experience unconditional freedom as a result. I t is from this place I share myself with others and I practice living here every moment of every day. I call this place “Foreverland”.
I let go of my so when I decided to live an unconditional life. I let go of all the reasons why I love my Self. Now when I love it’s because I choose to come from that place inside me (the source of my Being) the heart of my LOVE center, for no reason at all. I forgive the same way and I experience unconditional freedom as a result. I t is from this place I share myself with others and I practice living here every moment of every day. I call this place “Foreverland”.
The “so” is a combination of things that we think we find important:
our valuable items that are “so” important or worth “so” much money
our indiscretions toward our loved ones that are “so” important
our fights or negative memories we hold on to that are “so” meaningful
When all that’s important is the right here, right now…all of these things are “so” (fill in the blank) only if we let them be
If we focus on being the best person we can to ourselves and others right at this very moment, all the “so’s” become very insignificant…one might say… “so”?
I believe that the ‘so’ is fear, the fear of letting go of what in our lives is holding us back from our higher purpose we agreed to came into to this life with to fulfill. Fear of trusting our gut feelings,intuition,which ever you wish to call the voice of your higher self, to take that leap of faith and to know that no path we take is really the wrong path but maybe the harder of the choices ,all paths will put lessons and obstacles in our way, we need to see them as such and try to learn the lessons of why we keep putting these hardships in our way to trip over, once that lesson is learnt we don’t(hopefully )repeat that lesson, we step up to the next grade.
Fear is the core instigator of anger ,depression, sarcasm, dispare,low self esteem, poor self image etc. We hold ourselves back from achieving because of some fear that we hold in our belief system.
Fear is-
False Evidence Appearing Real
Even though I feel I understand this theory, I am at this time going through a huge challenge of my own, I am facing changes that challenge my personal boundaries and physical. I have been living with my head in the clouds, and not having to face matters concerning money and long term security. AAGH !! this ,at 52 makes me feel very weary. I would just like to talk to someone who might understand where I am at, not for financial assistance or answers to my problems, just an empathic ear or maybe some helpful guidance.
I, we, have to try to remember that everything happens for a reason and it is usually because we are living the lives we have projected for ourselves.
“The choices we make in life dictate the lives we lead”
I hope I haven’t been too long winded.
Namaste,
Anne Green
I just ‘let go of my So’ this weekend – a business I’ve poured my heart and soul into that’s not working for me any more. I suddenly saw that hanging onto it (for fear of not having any income while looking to find life’s next new adventure) kept me down in the very hole of despair I thought I was trying to move out of! That life’s adventure waiting for me out here could not happen if I hadn’t create the space needed for it in my life, now!
More importantly, I completely relate to your latest message Michael about the long drive and inherent preparation to get rid of your So… the reluctance to unpack, pack, unpack again, all for so little worth. Thank you for sharing… my face wore a smile of understanding while reading about your experience!
Our ‘So’ is not the things, relationships, people we leave behind… but our ownership and attachment to the thought that who we are is these collections and outdated memorabilia of who we were. It is an illusion – a lie. It keeps us separate from ourselves which causes only more grief and despair.
Who we were is who we are not. Holding onto our ‘So’ perpetuates the lie and illusion. Letting go of our ‘So’ brings us back to the present, to being alive here now in this expression, this moment.
With love and appreciation.
Kathy
You have no idea how your experience struck an accord with me. Our Mom passed away on Jan. 17, 2006 and also was a collector of antiques, collectibles and had a large store of knicks and knacks. The house was full, the attic was full and garage and loft were full, the second home was chocked full as well as the mobile home. My brother and I spent every weekend and one night through the week sorting and piling each in every item. It took us over 8 months to complete this task. At the end of the day we had 3 piles, one for us, one for garage sales and one for charity. As the weeks went by the piles kept getting bigger and bigger. And now that 2 years have gone by everything is gone except for the items we each took to our homes in memory of MOM. Almost simulataneous to receiving your letters I had been feeling it is time to sort again and to “let some things go”. I have spent the past two weeks and gone through our home and donated 3 cars fulls of “stuff” to charity. I have to say that our children are so thankful that they will not have to go through the exercise that we have just finished. The biggest lesson I have been reminded comes from a book a had read a few years ago that said you can not bring something new into your life if you are holding on to the old. I am looking forward to what may be in store for me.
Thank you for sharing such uplifting messages with your readers.
“Letting Go of your So” I feel the the So means nothingness, error, FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) Anything that tries to deceive you which is really a lie, not reality. We are Spiritual beings created in the image and likeness of our father, all Good. So Let go of the So and Let God! And all is well!
Dear Micheal!!! How are you? Yes it is the SOUL. The egocentric self. We are building societies on policies of competition instead of cooperation. It is all to serve well that it is in this good habbit we can be totally free.
What shall it profit a man or woman if he/she gains the whole world and loses his/her own soul?I must let go of my soulties to things because I can’t take them with me when I breathe my last breath! I must now today find out where and what I must place my focus that will help me fulfill my destiny because my soul is eternal and will live on forever!My soul consists of my mind, will, and emotions and all three must line up with my spirit which I yield to the Holy Spirit so that His glory and His agape love can flood my soul! My treasure then is in things above and not here below, so when I let go of earthly things and reach for heavenly things, His presence floods my soul so I can truly be free and alive in Almighty God, my precious Jesus and the Holy Spirit who quickens my mortal body and soul with His Holy laughter and joy!
Letting go of Self Obsession.
Feeling the flow of energy from within and through that connects you to me and all else that is and can be.
Im thinking that my So is having lived with the burden of thinkng that you have to suffer to deserve something. It applies to a lot of areas in my life. Relationships, in family friendship and love.Work, i believed that one had to work gruelling hours and come home tired, hungry and hot headed to deserve the pay that one took home, but not enough because you were not worthy, or didnt work too hard. To sacrifice a lot for your loved ones, because of the learned experience that it is better to give than to receive…leaving a pittance for myself.
I finally believe that all these stems from the fact that one thinks too much of what or how things happen around us. What other people expect of you, what’s traditional, and how people have lived traditionally before you.
Soooo, how does one let go of one’s so? Stop thinking and just be. Be where you are right now, be who you dream to be, just act and be…
Recently I’ve found letting go of “so” is letting go of my excuses.
Hello everyone,
I think SO may stand for Solid Objects.
If we are spiritual beings having a physical experience we need to be able to let go of the solid objects and physical stuff in our lives
SOs simply weigh us down and prevent our spirits from soaring and our appreciation of the spirits belonging to those we love.
Mike there are many sos (sores) I have to let go. First the loneliness , helplessness, feeling of every single person being hostile to me, the grudge against all responsible for my unhappiness. Please pray for me to let go of all these. Thanks.
I am going to take a shot at what “letting Go of your So” could mean….
I think we would move through this life more gracefully by letting go of our attachment to the outcome of our actions. For instance “I need to stay in this dead end job so I have money to pay my bills” or “I have to join the PTA so I can have a say so at what happens at my childs school.”
Even talented people with a tremendous amount of foresight can’t predict the unpredictable.
What happens when we get to our destination and we change our mind about how we feel about that certain thing we are doing? (Like being reluctant to unpack the car in Michaels story.) An end result will always happen regardless. Lets enjoy the journey.
“letting Go of your So” To me that is to stop fighting all thats going wrong in life, to stop swimming up hill and just go with the flow. I am having a very unhappy time, I have lost my home, I have a crappy job, I am living apart from my wife and children and for almost 2 years, all that I have been doing is to try to change the past but really just trying to get some reconcilliation with my wife, but it’s really hard, I just try and put it all out of my mind, all my problems and try to stop feeling sorry for myself and wait for something better to come to me, I know it will but when is the thing. Just like i know that I will get back with my wife, but when?
“letting Go of your So” To me that is to stop fighting all thats going wrong in life, to stop swimming up hill and just go with the flow. I am having a very unhappy time, I have lost my home, I have a crappy job, I am living apart from my wife and children and for almost 2 years, all that I have been doing is to try to change the past but really just trying to get some reconcilliation with my wife, but it’s really hard, I just try and put it all out of my mind, all my problems and try to stop feeling sorry for myself and wait for something better to come to me, I know it will but when is the thing. Just like i know that I will get back with my wife, but when?
Letting go of my SO…..
preparing for a message to be delivered in two weeks and doing seminary study today caused me to think “are you deaf, dumb and blind. The so we have been talking about is what keeps me from………..
So…what is the problem, fear of success, fear of stepping out of my comfort zone….fear of being more than I can be. Holding onto past issues keeps me stagnant and does not allow me to grow. Sure put them at the foot of the cross, but be sure to pick them up again before you go…no one can handle them like you can. No one will take care of them like you can….no one can love them like you can….the them is anything we have an attachment to. Material things, monetary things, psychological things…..So….if it is gone, yes maybe I will miss it for the moment or two, but do I need it…can it benefit someone else to have it……So…….does it bring pain or joy……can I share it, will it bring joy to someone else…..SO…….
SO…..I release you to the universe to add joy to someone along the way……So….I release you to help someone along their path…..SO…..I release you to allow me to grow as well as someone else who at the appropriate time will release you to the universe to continue their journey……….
gree3
For me letting go of my so was interperted as stuff outdated in my personal history. Stuff that no longer served me purposely to grow as the authentic and divine being I am and capable of being. Stagnated energy from stuff in my head and external surroundings that kept me from moving forward and being fully in the now. As I got more clear on what I wanted for myself in all areas of my life relationships, financial, success I was able to let go of the stuff outdated that was keeping me connected to source. I admit babysteps are better than no steps at all as it gets you moving in a direction – gets you in the flow of life and thats what it is all about. So – let it go and live fully the life we are so destined to have. Thankyou Michael. Live – Love & Laugh!!!!
Letting go of your so, to me is the one thing/(s) you have placed at the centre of your life that becomes your God and is not your God. It keeps you in bondage and holds you back, if you choose not to let it go and you are never able to fulfill your true God given purpose in life.
I have had to let go of my first SO…..marriage. Never thought I would as he was my first love, two beautiful children and what appeared to be a picture- perfect life. He suffered from compulsive obsessive disorder and didnt believe he had a problem.
My second SO was falling deeply in love with someone who was married, emotionally unavailable and a player. It is said that when God wants to bless you he sends someone into your life…..it is also said when the devil wants to curse you he also sends someone into your life. Everything positive and good in my life was stripped away from me when I held on to that relationship and I felt powerless to let it go.
I prayed and cried myself to sleep most nights. Like an addict, everytime I came close to breaking it off I felt such deep pain and anguish.
I was only able to cut him clean out of my life when I started listening to God. He was always there telling me what to do but obedience was never my strength. When I finally let go of my SO it was a clean break with no looking back. He made several attempts to contact me and I didnt respond knowing it was the right thing to do.
In letting go, God sent someone into my life who is truly a blessing. Had I not let go I would not have opened my heart to this new person and would not have placed God at the centre of my life, which is where he should have been in the first place.
I have gone through similar struggles with my resistance to letting go of “stuff” – whether material or emotional. When you have had them long enough, when you have analyzed and discerned them long and good (neatly wrapped them in bubble-wrap) they get to be so familiar they become part of who you are, and you become reluctant to letting go of them. It feels like losing part of yourself and you enter into grief over that loss. I can only recommend The Sedona Method to help you let go of that reluctance. All those “bad feelings” are gone. I can’t even remember what they were…..
Letting go of so? So, what’s the use? So, what’s new? For me, it’s more of letting go of “No”. Moving on from a relationship that mirrors the experiences of childhood. Selling a home that I love when I love having a home, having not experienced this as a child. Saying Yes to moving on and finally leaving behind the old patterns of regret, remorse, anger, unfulfilled emotional and physical longing, saying “yes” to being a happy, loving, vibrant, spiritually expansive, creative, intelligent successful being. So. Hello to Yes.
Dear Michael –
I guess letting go of your “so” obviously means different things to different people.
I would like to wish you joy and fulfillment in Sedona – it is a very spiritual place.
I’m sorry it wasn’t meant for us to say ‘hello’, I know you remember the CJ that helped care for your Dad, and I am sorry to hear about your Mom; that you could find joy in her, with that insidious disease just tells me how much you have progressed on your spiritual journey. I have also, and to me, letting go of my “so” simply means throwing off my attachments to physical things. As material things mean less and less, my spirit grows, and I am more open to listen to my spirit, and to walk closer to my God. Yes I still work for hospice.
God Bless Michael.
Love, CJ
I get so many emails every day and am on some really good lists but simply don’t have time to read most of them. But when your email question came through, I paused, didn’t delete it and eventually read through every comment. That was about a week ago after spending a day with my two eldest sons sorting through a garage full of stuff.
I’ve been divorced for almost 20 years, raised four children who are now on their own and have spouses and children of their own. The place I’m renting is being sold and last Saturday we were going through boxes of old tax records, a box of LPs that hadn’t been opened in 18 years, boxes and boxes of books that hadn’t been opened in years, children’s “art” work from 30 years ago – you get the picture. Dozens of boxes that I have carefully moved over the years.
My sons finally convinced me that it’s ok to donate the books, shred the tax returns, throw out the decaying pictures they drew, sell or donate furniture, pictures, stuff I don’t really like any more or held onto because it was a gift.
Now, as I continue to pack up my “stuff” for the move, I feel much more comfortable putting things in piles that I won’t take to my new home.
My “So” is much bigger than the stuff that’s been cluttering my garage, it’s all the excuses for not doing something or moving more slowly on projects because of all the baggage I’m carrying around in my head! It’s weighing me down and I’ve worked for years to let go. I’ve made a lot of progress and moving to a new place and only taking the things that I really want to keep will definitely lighten the mental baggage and allow me to make a new start.
Michael, you’re right about expending the time, effort and money to sell stuff. I make far more money in an hour of consulting than I can possibly make in trying to find buyers for this stuff. Most will go to charity and I’ll post a few things on Craigs list. Whatever doesn’t sell will go to charity.
Thanks for all the sharing on this topic. It’s been quite enlightening!
So……..for me was releasing a dead and stagnent relationship ,20 years,17 of those married and together,he walked out on our kids and myself 3 times, in a different country than that I was raised.I finally realized that I needed to let go….Moved my kids and myself back to states and worked for 2 years as a bartender, watghing people destroy their lives just as my ex had destroyed our family…another turning point …I walked away from that trusting God to be my Guide and now I am in college at 45.My life has been full of these moments but one learns to trust in God and have the faith that God wants us to prosper and be in health. In Love and Light….Love to All,Margaret
Letting go of so – that which no longer serves your higher purpose –
Letting go of your so is letting go of excuses. So many of us all have sad stories to tell, tragic events in our lives that have helped shaped the people we are today. The magic to Life starts when we can let go of the “so” of our tragedies. Things like…My dad was an alcoholic…so what. My mom abused me…so what. I wasn’t popular in grade school…so what. Letting go of these things allows us to get back to finding the magic in this life; to live life and not waste Life by waiting for it to come along or blaming our “so’s” on why were are the way we are today. Letting go of so puts us back in control of our lives, of our happiness. It is me, all me, who has the ability to live the life of my dreams; to follow my bliss, create it, share it, breathe it in, revel in it. Letting go of so is seeing the opportunity in all that happens, being grateful for the seemingly tragic events of one’s life and realizing that if one were never abused, you wouldn’t know the beauty of unconditional love; if one’s parent were never an alcoholic we would never see the effects and destruction abuse can take; that if we were popular in school we may never have learned unconditional acceptance and the value of kindness. Letting go of so is simply letting go of So What.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity and forum to share. Thank you for allowing me to read all of the wonderful stories filled with love, passion, dedication to live a better happier life…thank you for my belief in the beauty of human nature be reinforced by seeing these wonderful contributors open their hearts and souls to share stories of dedication and victory.
Please hurry. I’m literally holding my breath.
Hi again,
If I were recommending to someone to let go and move forward in their lives, I would say that it would be helpful to break it down and figure out what it is they need to let go of and write it down and then burn it. You could also meditate and visualize using your imagination some method of disposing of unwanted emotional baggage for good. It is also important to have a motivating mantra to replace the conditioned responses. Journalling is helpful to then give thanks for all the good things in life. I always say its a matter of choice – like picking up a tv remote and changing the channel. Changing your perception and belief is a prerequisite to letting go. Funny thing is that I can recommend to others and feel in my heart that this is a definite way to let go. I just have a problem doing this myself and in the process of letting go I get very confused. Its hard to articulate but there is comething behind the curtain that is holding me in this state of mind and it is not pleasant. Meditation does help but I get impatient which clearly shows I have not let go!!
Karen
Don’t we try to complicate stuff by getting into intricate detail which, of course gets in the way of Letting Go.
My thoughts (which I can also let go of)is: Everything! But then, practically I would say Letting Go of Attachment (or aversion which is really just an inverted attachment!). When you get that Attachment is just s figment of our imagination….. Freedom!
Regards
Stuart
. . .limiting beliefs, being stuck in a job that I don’t find rewarding, being stuck in a marriage that I don’t find rewarding . . . I believe it is Simplifying One’s existence in order to find what really makes us tick. Shedding the Old, whatever you want to call it. Thank you Michael for making me think about what’s really important. God Bless . . .Kelly
My SO is the Significant Obstical and Significant Obsession that prevents transformation of my life.
In my case it is a lifetime of habitual smoking. A habit/addiction I know is sapping the life energy out of me.
Thank you for your assitance and now to focus on letting go of my SO
I’m going to have trouble getting the answer right because as I was reading Michael’s story I was cheering for him thinking “no don’t sell it so cheap! – you can get more – you are betraying your Mom but she will forgive you” – etc. Well for me, at least until I hear the right answer, its deciding on a few things that are truly most important and letting go of all the other “noise”. We often make up problems for ourselves that really do not exist or we blow them out of proportion. Those are things which distract and waste eneregy in your life. For example, don’t get dragged into the email wars, worry about daily stock performance of something bought for the long term. These things can lead to internal regret and turmoil not to mention the affect on other people who may cause you more grief when it really not needed. I don’t know why we do those things and even when I consciously try to “behave” and be civil, I’m still burning up inside for a fight and feel slighted.
I believe there are underlying things at play not always available to our conscious mind. We need to find ways to get in touch with our inner being. Let go of Spirital Obstacles to save the soul.
Hello there,
Not sure how I got on your list but sometimes I actually get through my email and stumble on something worth reading. So.. what’s my two cents about letting go of your ‘so’? I think ‘so’ is an expression of linear thinking… if this, then that, using so as the equal sign in an equation of life. When you let go of your so, you expand your idea of what is possible. what is possible doesn’t follow a linear line, it follows your imagination and there is no limit to that. So is a limitation, it is a therefore as if something is predestined or determined for you based on what has already happened to you or happened to others or happens generally, none of this is relevant to creating life with intention. And (not so :-).. there you have it. I am living my life with the intention to allow the beautiful to unfold as me.
“So” imbodies Soulessness, a deep need vacant in life as shown by dominating Ego. What my search in life has been to find that well within, the secret inner dwelling that speaks and guides my life. “So” then becomes Soul, the dwelling place of all oneness,all peace, all love.
This is a story about Buddha that I think really sums it up:-
“A man was running away from a pack of wolves. The wolves were gaining on him and he was terrified. Suddenly he saw a river and on the shore was a rowing boat. He ran to the boat and managed to row across the river and escape from the wolves.
Buddha then asked his followers
“Should this man strap the boat on his back because it saved his life? Or shoudl he leave it for somone else who may need it?”
It seems to me this explains so much ritual around religeons when all you have to do is worship and love God.
How exciting to read all the information. I commented several days back, I want to specifically share one of my stories. I had a bad car wreck in 1999. One of the best surgeons in Tennessee wanted to amputate my foot. After 3 surgeries and long recovery time, I had, (have) foot, crooked and with a pronounced limp.
Last year I discovered the Sedona method…I welcomed and accepted the pain I thought I had in my foot. I let it go! After eating advil for years, I now take nothing and remember no pain! I welcomed the limp and released my feelings regarding it. This week three of my friends said, what happened to your foot? You aren’t limping anymore. I am not proficient in the Sedona method, but it works. I relate your letting go of your So and our Soul to the So U let go and So U Love. Love what is now.. Live in the now, accept what is, most unpleasant things in our life are really memories, as are the happy thoughts……But NOW is So Real…….
Molinda
To let go of your so, to me, means letting go of the past, everything that has happenned, or gone.
Or should be gone. to me, it is letting go of resentments, hurts, bitterness, anger, hate, AND ALL negative feelings. Some are feelings of anger with myself, not just at others. It is an unforgiving nature directed and self and others. The baggage is heavy and I am very tired, so everyday I am attempting to live in the NOW, because really, the now is a gift and it is all I have! It shoudl be a JOY to live, to love and to enjoy the wonderful gift of life, a new day.
It is surrendering to God, because He can make more of me than I can by myself. He will carry the burdens that I am too tires to carry, Surrender to God, and live in the Now, and embracing today, and Stop living in the past.
Victoria
Hi Michael, I don’t know if you’re actually looking for the words to define the acronym, “So”…Simple obstruction, self obsession…or in my case Susie’s outdated operandi…I live ‘letting’ go in almost every moment of every day. Too many stories to write about, but the essence is to feel my perceived obstruction and ask if it is ok that it’s there, ok to feel it, ok to let it go, and ask when I’m willing to let it go. As I continue this practice, it has been easier and easier to feel lighter and happier. Giving myself permission to decide in an instant to let go is my “So”.
Lovingly,
Susie
This series of emails has prompted me to dig hard on what my “so” might be….and how do I go about letting it go. I’ve decided, for me, my “so” is the expectations, or percieved abilities that OTHERS put on to me. What others think I can achieve, are capable of, or what dreams I can accomplish. The limitations that OTHERS put on my abilities is my greatest obstacle. I believe by letting go of the limitations others place on me, and only listening to what I know I can accomplish, will be my letting go of my “SO”…so there.
This is amazing Michael; reminds me of a message I heard preached some time ago by Bishop Paul S. Morton. Well I think letting go of your so, means to simply come to a conclusion of the matter and not allow it to prevent you from doing what you are able and capable of wanting to do. As an example I share the story of a feud that was brewing between my husband and my brother. It resulted in me having to make a choice as to whether or not I would just stand around and let my brother verbally abuse my husband (they both were working at same church) or whether we needed to make a split. At the time I was in a stew: my husband was the assistant pastor to my brother the senior pastor. My husband seemed as if he was stuck and unable to make a choice to move on. So I simply made a choice that I had to look out for my personal well-being: me. Their actions were killing me and it felt as if i would die. So one day I made a choice that I was not going to sit in the church and let their feud kill me. I decided not to go back until they got it together. Of course, my husband stayed for as long as he could, but I was just waiting for God to help him make up his mind that sometimes you have to look at life and make a decision to move on. Sure he’s my brother, sure it will hurt, but if it’s preventing you from soaring into your full potential as an individual – you need to cut that “so” and move on. Since I did, I have a great feeling of confidence that allows me to not let people overrun me and disregard my feelings. I am moving forward in my life with my husband and family with a new zeal for life.
I will let go by not complaining of the extra”luggage” I carry.
i would like you to give me ideas. the ways of becoming a man of impact. how to manitain the right eaple in my life. how to talk, how to behave my self. what should i do to be a man of wisdom.tell me thank you.
significant other? Just a guess!
Es ist die richtigen Informationen
Sie lassen den Fehler zu. Schreiben Sie mir in PM, wir werden reden.
Ich entschuldige mich, ich wollte die Meinung auch aussprechen.
Esta frase es simplemente incomparable:), me gusta mucho)))
Antes pensaba de otro modo, los muchas gracias por la ayuda en esta pregunta.
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